In the attic of Jade's childhood was an old trunk, locked. And even though she couldn't pry it open, nor did she have the key, the muffled sobs coming from inside told her more than she wanted to remember.
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I tucked my knees against my chest as I watched my mother walk out of the drug store. She had a white plastic bag dangling from her hand. I caught her eye and she smiled widely - she took out the box of pads and waved it at me.
I sunk down the passenger seat, mortified. Luckily the parking lot was pretty much empty, it was only seven in the morning after all.
The car jostled as she got in. She dropped the bag in my lap and rubbed the skin around her wrist.
"I bought you the smallest size but you should use the bigger ones when you go to sleep."
"Thanks."
"I still don't understand why you just couldn't come in with me to get 'em," she said as she started driving back home.
"Mom, I already told you, I'm still in my pj's." Even I could hear how lame of an excuse that was. Noah and I always went to the store for late night snacks, dressed in our pj's, it never stopped me before - until now that is.
"You gonna be at the party today after school?"
She glanced at me, confused. "How did you know about that? I thought it was supposed to be a surprise."
"Someone couldn't shut his mouth. Anyway, it's not much of a surprise anymore." I put my feet down and gazed at her through my bangs. "So are you coming?"
"Of course I'm coming," she grinned. "Wouldn't wanna miss my little girl's birthday."
"You missed my twelfth birthday," I pointed out. "And my eleventh ... and tenth ... and pretty much all the ones after my fourth birthday."
"Yeah I'm sorry about that." Her lips curved in an uneasy smile as she cleared her throat uncomfortably. "But hey, I always got you gifts, didn't I? It's not like I wanted to miss any of your birthdays or even your brothers' for that matter, I just can't control it when things come up."
"Can you promise me nothing will come up this time?"
She briefly watched me out of the corner of her eyes before quickly looking away, her eyes back on the road. "I'll try - "
"That's not enough," I cut her off. "Promise me. I really want you to be there, mom."
She sighed, rubbing her wrist again. "Sweetie, I can't guarantee anything. Like I said, sometimes things come up and - "
"So these so called 'things' are more important than me?" I turned in my seat to face her properly, to confront her. "You said you wanted us to be a family again, that you wanted to be more involved. Act like it."
I knew I was guild-tripping her and a part of me wished I didn't have to but it was the only way to get to her. I hope.
She swiftly licked her chapped lips and fidgeted in her seat. "Alright. I promise."
