In the attic of Jade's childhood was an old trunk, locked. And even though she couldn't pry it open, nor did she have the key, the muffled sobs coming from inside told her more than she wanted to remember.
☆ Winner of The Fiction Awards 2019 ☆
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A/N: I take back everything I said, THIS was the hardest chapters I have ever written in my life.
They say dogs can smell human emotions, they're able to connect on a deeper level. I never had a pet so I could never test that theory, however judging by the puppy dog eyes I received from Elvis, I had a feeling he picked up on my miserable mood.
I wondered if he could also sense the anguish and guilt gnawing at me, eating me from the inside. Or what about the shame and hurt crashing at me, wave after wave. Could he tell I blamed myself for everything?
I thought I could handle the truth but I overestimated myself. I thought exposing the lies and secrets would give me some clarity, but it only felt like I fell deeper into a pit, consumed in darkness. I was so full of confidence and determination but in the end nothing could prepare me for the truth.
It was there, it was right there all along, in the little things they did - the way they never brought up my childhood, the way that acted like some human shield around me. I was showered in love and affection, almost like they were trying to compensate for something. I was always taught to never trust strangers, never trust our mother ...
I was so oblivious to all of it, thinking they were only trying to protect me but never had I once stopped to think what exactly they were protecting me from.
I thought back to what Tristan had once told me - 'I'm talking about your innocence. I'm dreading the day you'll lose it again and see how truly effed up this world is.'
And Ashton - 'There's some bad people out there, Jade, really bad. And I just don't want you to be taken advantage of again.'
'Young minds have the tendency to shut down painful or scary experiences. Because you're too young to know how to deal with it, you just learned how to suppress it instead.' That's what Jordan had told me after I had my first night terror in a very long time. When I had asked him what my nightmares were about, he claimed he couldn't remember. But he knew.
They all knew.
And they tried to tell me but I did not hear what I should've listened to.
"Why so sad, sugar?"
I broke out of my train of thoughts and blinked up at Marion.
"You can tell, huh." A somber smile pulled at my lips.
"By the looks of it I'm not the only one." She gestured at Elvis snuggled up in my arms, almost like he was hugging me instead of the other way around. "You're usually all smiles. Why don't you tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."
I buried my head in Elvis' neck, trying to keep the tears at bay. It was suddenly hard to swallow down the growing lump in my throat.
"Oh my sweet, sweet girl." The couch dipped when she sank into it. Her arm snaked around me and it was all I needed to bury myself in her embrace. She felt warm and smelled like fresh-cut spring flowers. I basked into the comfort and love she was emitting, soaking up as much as I possibly could.
