Moonlight. Something we barely see, yet something that illuminates us in ways we will never truly understand. We sit there and will see the moon outside of our window and not think a thing. We don't notice our connection to the moon. We feel as if its just in our grasp only a few feet in the air when its miles away into the sky. We never have appreciated everything the moon gives.
It gives us the tides, animal cycles, Zodiac signs, and so much more. It send out a light so soft and pure we barely know its there. When I was little I had never been in the moonlight until I was about 8 years old. I know its crazy, but I remember a feeling of sanity and safety as I looked up. As I felt the cool breeze blow through my curls and shiver down my spine I felt watched over.
As I grew older I departed from it, I never went outside at night, or even looked out my window. As I did I only grew up, matured, became what everybody wanted. To be serious, be something, do something, anything besides be a kid. I practically despised myself. For a while I was okay. Fine, stressed, but smiling and happy everyone was proud. It started becoming too much. I would sit up at night and pray to God, Jesus, Virgin Mary, anybody who would listen, praying for guidance.
One night in particular was different. I layed down and wept, I had sang, read, danced, watched my favorite movie, anything I could try to smile but nothing helped. I almost lost hope. I remember clutching a pillow as I cried, tears cascading down my face like salty water out of a broken faucet that simply couldn't be fixed. My pillows soaked in my tears, eyes strained and tires, a stuffy nose and my throat scratchy from silently screaming. I truly was gone.
I had looked out my window, my curtains pushed out of the way. Looking up to the moon wishing for that feeling if sanity and sanctity to magically appear once again. My lights were out leaving me in total darkness, except for the beautiful dusty pure glaze of the moonlight. I could almost feel the light on my fingertips as I waved them in the air in frame with the light. I felt my tears start to dry, leaving my face covered with clear tear tracks and a raging pink nose. I felt the moon practically embrace me in its arms, as if the man in the moon was caring for me. I grew tired and felt nothing but contempt as I drfted to sleep, relishing in the fact I grew close to the moon once more.
For nothing is more tranquil and sultry as the moonlight we share. For it leaves us within, and without.
