Why?

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Calum pov*

While walking back to my house from Cassie's I start to think, why would she want to be my friend anyway? I am not attractive, I am awkward, and I am fat.

I don't deserve to be her friend either. She is so pretty and had the best personality ever. Cassie can turn anything situation into a positive one. I don't know how she does it either. I can never see the positive in anything ever. I want to be with her forever but I know she doesn't deserve me.

As I walk up to the front door of my house I dread going in it. My dad is either here and drunk, or not here and getting drunk. Let's just hope for the second choice. I walk inside and don't hear anything so I assume the coast is clear. I go straight to my room and lock it shut. I need to relieve my mind somehow and that somehow stays in the bathroom.

trigger warning/////////

I go and sit down on the cold tile floor. I slide my sweatshirt off my head and put it on the floor besides me. I crawl over to the cabinets and take out my special box. I take out the cold metallic object and get a grip on it.

For not being good enough

For not being happy

For not being skinny

For not having friends

For Cassie

--------------------------after

I look at my blood covered arms and wince. It is ironic how I can't stand blood but I inflict it upon myself. I crawl back over to the bathroom counter and turn on the water faucet. As the crimson red liquid goes down the drain I cry out in pain. The good kind though, the one that I deserve.

I wrap my arms with gauze and walk into my bedroom. I crash into my bed not wanting to do my homework. I mean I would fail it anyway.

A/N

Okay so yes self harm was in this chapter but I don't want any of y'all doing it cause your beautiful and I care about you. Message board is always open if you need to talk to someone. :)

But yes please comment and vote!!!

Love y'all so very much

Peaceskies,

Addison <3

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