I'll Help Myself

Preface

Worth.

A simple five letter word that means so much to some people, but does it really mean anything at all? If you are "worth" something, does that mean you are put on a pedestal and worshiped for it or are you used for it by anyone you've ever met?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the second option. I've been in the foster care system for as long as I can remember, and I'm not just saying that for the effect. My social worker, Janice, told me I was born to a drug-seeking prostitute who signed her rights away in the hospital. So at the ripe age of 3 days old I was placed into my first foster care home.

It didn't last long. Janice came for the first visit and found my lovely foster parents shaking me to stop me from crying. I was removed from that home and placed into another one. This time I was 4 months old, with a healing concussion. I was removed from their home another 4 months later for unexplainable bruising.

Another home came and another home went, all the same as the previous ones before. Janice even considered becoming a foster parent just to take me in, but that unfortunately never happened.

On my sixth birthday I was placed into a house that I thought could be my forever home. I stayed with them for 10 years.

When I arrived, I was greeted with open arms and a small birthday party. My foster parents, Sally and Richard Monty, gave me toys, my own room, and even enrolled me into school. I was the happiest six year old in the world.

Every Friday night, Sally would rent a movie from the store and we'd all watch it in the living room after dinner, under a blanket fort.

When I turned ten, Sally became pregnant. We were all so excited to welcome the newest addition the our family. Months went by and Sally was in her third trimester, she was having a girl - a sister for me. Richard was ecstatic and kept saying how he couldn't wait.

Little did I know that he wasn't talking about the baby.

One Friday night after dinner, I was getting ready for the movie. I made popcorn, got all of our blankets out and even turned to the channel for the DVD player. Sally came out of the dining room yawning and saying good night as she headed up the stairs, completely forgetting about our tradition.

Richard popped his head into the living room, saying to give him a minute to clean up then we'll watch a movie. Once he was done in the kitchen, we set up the blanket fort and got comfy on the floor. Richard put his arm around my waist and gave me a big hug, saying that Sally was just tired because of the baby.

That night was the first night of my life that I would never forget.