Mama Bear, Papa Wolf

The big talk

Author's note: Sorry this was supposed to be the wedding, but things took a turn when I was writing it. The next chapter will be the wedding. Just a warning; rape will be discussed in this chapter. I wasn't planning on including this, but I want anyone who has been through something like this to know it can get better. It's not easy, but don't let them take anything else from you. You didn't have a choice before, now you do. Enough has been taken from you, take back your life.

Chapter Four:
After Jack said yes, things moved really quick. Like lightning fast; Luna Fran, Luna Mother Anna and Tina had been planning our wedding as soon as we moved in. We could be married tonight. Jack was surprised but happy not to have to wait. Charlie and I had been waiting for six months, so we were ecstatic. The women in the family had come and hauled Charlie off to get things set up. Tina's younger sister Jenny came to take care of the twins for us so we could talk.

We sat cuddled up on the loveseat. We talked of our past and dreams for the future. We talked about the kids. We talked about us as a couple for a while before Jack went quiet. "Jack are you nervous about tonight, you know when it's just us." I asked. His head dipped "Yes, I love you so much. I want it to be good between us, but I've never been with anybody before. I'm not sure what to do." he blushed. I rub his arm. "Jack, do you love me?" "Yes" he said hurt. "And I you. Do you care about my safety? Do you care about what I want?" I asked. "You know that I do." he whispered. "I know it too, Jack. That is why I'm not worried about that part. Everything else will work out eventually. Let me tell you something...I was raped growing up. It was one of the first things I remember in life. It was my brother - someone that should have protected me the most. What most people don't understand is that in a situation like that - they seduce, they groom you. They can pretend it's not rape that way. I didn't know anything different because it had always been that way for me. When a friend in school asked who I liked, I said my brother. I was surprised when she said not like that. Who do you like Like? It was like oh that's not normal?! I remember one time in particular I said I had to pee. He didn't let me up. I couldn't understand why. I HAD to pee. My needs, safety, wants didn't really matter to him, no matter how it was dressed up. Between you and I it will be different, like night and day. My safety, needs, wants all matter to you. As yours do to me. Do you understand what I'm saying?" said I."I think so. I'm sorry that happened to you. Are you ok? Where is he?" he growled that last bit out. "He is gone from my life. I'm ok now it happened over thirty years ago. Xavier had to deal with a lot of the fall out. I had violent physical reactions when we were dating. He loved to tickle me and I hate it. My brother used to tickle me until I peed myself. Now I can't stand it. So he would tickle me and I would physically freak out. I wasn't scared though. I didn't want him to think I was scared of him - he was a big guy. So I told him the truth early on. He learned to not tickle me. Ha - but not before this one time. He came up from behind and goosed me. My body's reaction was to arch my back and pop my head back hard. I gave him a concussion! It even took some time after we were married before we could have intercourse. My body just shut down. It's called vaginismus. It's rare but basically the body thinks penetration will hurt and the muscles in the vagina squeeze closed. Xavier and I worked through it. So no I not worried about that anymore. I'm stressing out about the facts that I'm twenty some odd years older and had two pregnancies since the last time I showed a new guy my body. " I blushed this time. Jack smiled at me, "I like the way you look and how strong you are. I can't wait to be with you. Good thing the wedding is tonight!