The Random Book of Randomness

Little Theatre Nerd #Youwillbefound

Fifth grade

So far the worst part of my life.I was depressed, ashamed of who I was, alone at lunch, P.E, basically anywhere social. Trying to start my search for who I was, but no one there for me and to help me. I start listening to Hamilton, a Broadway musical who most of you who know me in real life know what means to me. I'm still alone, but one day I hear someone singing Hamilton on the bus and we start talking about it all the time. I start to become more confident, now that I had someone behind me. She introduces me to some other girls who listen to it, and I know have a little group I can talk to. (What I realized chapter...) We hang out all the time, it's tons of fun. I break off and come to a new school on my own, where no one knows who I was or what I went through, (It's worse than I have put it, seriously). Boy was I ready. 

Sixth Grade

I start out on my own, I have a few friends who I knew there and I hung out with them for a while. Then I start to break out on my own and find a new friend. She introduces to me the same group I hang out with today. I introduce one to Hamilton and she LOVES it. Others then start listening to it and I feel like a queen and that I had actually done something someone wouldn't try to use against me for the first time in a while.  There are about 8 of us and I actually feel like I fit in. I'm not bullied, there isn't a mean person in sight, I'm not alone for the first time since I couldn't remember how long. I'm working to get over my depression and am still very secretive. That's when my friend introduces me to Dear Evan Hansen, which I fall in love with right away. I start to listen to Finding Neverland again, which I saw when I was 8. (Stay with me I'm only in the first semester). Then I start to realize, I'm not exactly straight, only some people who I know irl know this but I'm what's called Pansexual (Look it up). I get my first crush on a girl which is what helps me realize that. I like a girl, I'm still sorry if I let you down by doing this because I know you'll see this. And as you can probably guess, she ends up not liking me and I'm down for a straight hour. Then I'm ok because she forgives me. 

That summer: 

I SEE HAMILTON!!! Yep, I actually see it and that same week I see Wicked which is when I start listening to that. A guy likes me and we "date" over text for 2 weeks and I fell good cuz in my opinion. (Don't ask)

Seventh Grade 

Now! So I have tried two new musicals, gotten another crush, and everything is good. I'm still a bit secretive unless you are really close to me. I might seem like an extrovert, but I'm not. Yes, I'm ok with social interacting but I have social anxiety and sometimes I feel really small in a big place at school. Heathers and Be More Chill amazing by the way, y'all should listen to em.  I'm still getting over that depression and who knows, I may not be meant to ever get completely over it. I am struggling a bit with my extremely schedule. But Hi to all my friends reading this! 

Ok, so the point of this is that if you are being bullied or are going through depression and anxiety like me, it's gonna be ok. Things WILL look up for you! Just belive it! Don't let life get you down, be your own person! Don't let people push you around! Through doing that, you are only becomeing who they want you to be! 

"Well, let that lonely feeling wash away. Maybe there's a reason to belive you'll be ok. Cuz, when you don't feel strong enough to stand, you can reach, reach out your hand. And oh, someone will come running. And I know they'll take you home. Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need a friend to carry you, when you're broken on the ground, you will be found." 

If you ever need a hand to reach out to, you will always have mine, just message me. I will talk with you and help you cope. 

Sincerley, 

Me 

(Only true DEH fans will get that one)