Cornelius & Matthias
Cornelius Tapio Wood, better known as 'Tao', is an albino that suffers from OCD and countless anxiety problems due to his rocky past.
Matthias is an Architect, who is desperate for some sort of connection. Everyone he has date...
I wake up to the soft brushing of fingertips over my face.
Looking into the kind eyes of my boyfriend, I wonder why he's still here.
No one's ever stayed before.
Yet, as he traces soft circles into my bare back and kisses my forehead gently, I realise he's not just anyone.
He's Matthias Ayre. Stormy blue. The person I lov- No. No I don't.
I shake that thought out of my cluttered mind; there is no point in thinking that yet.
It's too soon, Too soon, Soon... I'll tell him soon.
As for now-
"Are you feeling better baby?"
"Yeah, I'm okay" I whisper back, snuggling further into his masculine oakwood scent.
There's a comfortable silence for a while; my brain questions the possibility of telling him-telling him what happened.
My steady breathing begins to falter.
"T-thais...Matthias" I call out quietly.
"Yes sweetheart?" He tucks a stray hair behind my ears, causing the skin to tingle.
"I got a phone call...from my mother"
[...]
And suddenly it's like I've been transported back in time, my eyes tear up- I'm sitting in my dad's red truck. The textured seat is soothing against the irritated skin of my fingertips.
"Nelly?" I hear a familiar voice call for my attention.
And there he is. My idol, My saviour, My dad.
He was the only one that knew, for so long.
I told him, on the night of my 13th birthday, that I liked this boy in my class. A boy! I remember being so scared, but he just smiled at me; ruffled my hair and said,
"What does it matter Nelly? You fancy boys; I fancy your mum, it's all the same."
And here he is, fiddling with the radio; like he always did.
He's smiling, he's singing, Then there's a man in the road, And we're crashing, With me screaming- Crying, begging, clutching, at my seatbelt.
There's so much blood, He's gasping for air; I hear the sirens, Feel the men pulling me out, And all the while I'm yelling, "I want my dad- save him, please"
I yell until I can't anymore and the world goes dark beneath my trembling eyelids.
[...]
"They said the man was trying to commit suicide...he ran infront of our car so fast and-" I can't breathe properly, "and my dad didn't want to hit him so he swerved and we f-fell and-"
[...]
I open my eyes again.
"Tao! Stop- just stop please!"
I look down and see the mess I had made with the paint.
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RED AND BLACK- CRASH RED AND BLACK- BANG RED AND BLACK- NO RED AND BLACK- DAD!
His blood. His truck. The man. His screams.
I've made a mess of mummy's carpet. My hands itch, wanting to clean the red off of the pristine white.
"I-I know, you can't help it. B-but I've been researching and I think I know what can help. It's this method. Whenever something bad happens, count for me; can you do that sweetheart?"
I look into the teary eyes of my mummy and I nod my head.
One two three four That's how many people Used to be I'm my loving family.
Now there's just three, And I can't see The positive aspects Of life at all.
[...]
"Mother got mad more and more often. She took me to therapy, s-she got annoyed so quickly...the counting got worse and worse and I couldn't stop it!"
I don't look at Matthias, afraid of what he's thinking. He's been so quiet.
It's my fault, it's all my fault-
One two three four, Now he knows my tale. Will all my attempts, to be perfect, Boil down to one big fail?
But I look, At his dreamy blue eyes and- One two three four, There's no slamming of the door.
He's staying.
And for once in my life, I feel a little less messed up inside. I feel almost...perfect, Instead of someone to hide.
He says, "I'm so proud of you" And my stomach starts to tingle. With our hands intertwined, We fall asleep together.
