The Wine Reading Reviews [OPEN]

Wings

Hi there, SlytherLiz . Your Pinot Noir is finally here. So just sit back, enjoy, and let's get this show on the road.

First Impressions

Your cover looks nice. On the one hand, the monochromatic color scheme brings out the dark and gloomy tones of your story. However, your graphic is all but blended with the gray background, which makes it hard for me to make out exactly what I'm looking at. One suggestion is to try and see whether you can balance out the color contrast by making the picture a bit darker, but overall, it's a good effort.

Your summary has an element of intrigue to it, particularly the part about the wings and what it represents in the world. There is some confusion about how Alexander and Alexa relate to each other, though. Just from reading the summary alone, I might dismiss this book as another 'bad boy meet broken girl' type of story. Perhaps you can try to elaborate a bit more on the plot and the relationship between Alex and Alexa, so readers will know your story is different from a typical teen fiction cliché plot? Because a mere mention of "drugs, abuse and more" just isn't enough.

Onto the story...

In a dystopian world where wings are the reflection of one's social status, Alexander, a boy with unusually large wings, meets Alexa, a wingless girl.

The world you have created is quite unconventional. There is an underlying theme of love and loneliness which hits close to home, especially nowadays the use of social media has redefined the way people connect and interact with one another. What's fascinating about your story is the hierarchy you've built through love. While it might sound like a paradise, it also brings about new problems, as the desire to stay on top of the social ladder has caused some people to develop a distorted perception of love, something that is well-highlighted through Alexander's relationship with his manipulative girlfriend Grace, and an increased sense of isolation and alienation, as reflected in the way Alexa is mistreated due to her wingless status.

However, as unique as your concept is, you've grossly neglected your setting. Where did your story take place? When did your story take place? What do the environments look like? None of these questions are answered in your story. If it's mentioned anywhere after the first eight chapters, then I have to say it's way too late, as these things should've been established right from the start.

Another thing is the way your wings system is defined, or rather, undefined. You mentioned that the more loved a person is, the bigger his/her wings become. What kind of love are you referring to here? Family? Friends? Lovers? Is it limited to the love of one person? Or can it be the love of many people? What constitutes as love in this particular world? A mother's love? An affectionate gesture from a friend? Sex with a prostitute? Keep in mind that love is an abstract concept. You ask ten people to define love, and you'll very likely end up with ten different answers. This is why world-building is so important in your story. Beyond your unique concept lies a baffling and poorly-planned idea. Since you already have a plot, I'd strongly suggest you spend some time to focus on the background and setting of your story.

Alexander and Alexa

Alexa isn't that hard to figure out. From what little information provided in the story, her wingless state indicates either she has never been loved, or perhaps she was once loved but later abandoned. Whichever the case, it has landed her on the bottom of the social ladder, and turned her into a bitter, defensive girl. The cruel treatment from her peers certainly doesn't help much, either. She has a 'the world has turned its back on me, so I turn my back on the world' attitude that many people today can relate to. Despite all this, deep down she's an insecure, vulnerable girl yearning to be seen and heard (and even loved).

Alexander's personality is more complicated. He's your typical good boy, someone who is ingrained with the idea that love is all he needs, and as long as he has his ginormous wings, everything is okay. He is so fixated on the idea of wings and love he becomes blind to his girlfriend's increasing abuse and manipulation, which in turn, has an adverse psychological effect on him. However, that begins to change after he meets Alexa.

Character development is obviously your forte. The two characters are beautifully crafted, and their troubles are hard-hitting yet relatable. In fact, I think it's bold of you to make Alexander an abuse victim in your story, as violence and rape against men are often overlooked and under-reported, so it's brave of you to raise this issue in your story. However, make sure you strike a balance between the two main characters, as Alexander's storyline seems to overshadow Alexa's. Other than that, you've done an incredible job with these characters. Keep up the good work!

Grammar

There are quite a few grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. Spelling mistakes and fragments are also found, which at times disrupt the flow of your story. Also, I suggest you widen your vocabulary range because the repetitive words can really drag the story pace. All this can be fixed when you edit your story. If needed, you can find an editor to help you or download an editing app.

Final thought

At this point, your story is like a skeletal draft with a still-developing plot and characters. With some organizing and structuring, it can turn into a fantastic story. 

And this marks the end of your review. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or PM me.

Good luck with your story! :)