You Say What?!: Funny Pick-Up Lines, Quotes, and Things You Shouldn't Say...

Blonde Jokes

A/N: I hope no one is offended by this chapter, and if you are please don't read. I am partially blonde myself and still find these jokes pretty funny! Enjoy! :)

~Blonde Jokes~

A woman walked into a store, wanting to buy a TV. She searched through the aisles and found one she liked. When she asked the clerk to sell it to her, he refused because he said she was a blonde. Offended, she stormed out of the electronics store and into the hair salon.

She comes back the next day as a brunette and pretends to search for a TV. She picks out the same TV she saw yesterday and asks the clerk to sell it to her. He refused because she was a blonde. Surprised on how he knew, she quickly left and went back to the hair salon.

The next day, she returns with red hair and again pretends to search for a TV, settling on the one she saw. The man still refused to sell it to her because she was blonde. Unable to take it anymore, she spoke up.

“How can you tell I’m a blonde? I’ve dyed my hair, and my roots aren’t showing!” she declared.

“Because,” the man responded. “That’s a microwave.”

* *

A blonde and a lawyer settle down in an airplane, on a two hour flight to Dallas. The lawyer looks around, trying to find something to do. The blonde tries to take a nap, as she is tired. Yet, from looking at the color of her hair, the lawyer plots a plan to get some money out of her.

He wakes her up and offers a preposition.

“Hey, let’s play a game. We’ll ask each other questions, and if we don’t know the answer, we’ll give the other five dollars,” he offered. The blonde politely declined and tried to go back to sleep, but the lawyer wouldn’t have it.

“Okay, how about if you don’t know it, you have to give me five dollars, but if I don’t know it, I’ll give you fifty dollars,” he suggested. The blonde still declined and tried to go back to sleep. The lawyer still pushed on.

“Okay, how about if I don’t know it, I’ll give you five hundred dollars, but if you don’t know it, you still only have to give me five,” he offered. The blonde considered this for a moment and agreed. The lawyer happily thought that there was no way he could lose.

“What is the distance from the moon to the earth?” he asked. The blonde took out her purse and gave him five dollars. She pondered for a moment and asked her question.

“What goes up a hill with two legs in the day, but comes down the hill with three legs at night?” she asked. The lawyer thought this question over, looked it up on his laptop, emailed all of his colleagues, but none knew the answer. An hour passed, but he still hadn’t found the answer, and the blonde had fallen asleep. He grudgingly awakened her and gave her five hundred dollars. She took the money quietly and tried to go back to sleep.

“Wait!” the lawyer said. “What’s the answer?”

The blonde gave him five dollars.

* *

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. As she’s driving out of the dealership, she cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. 

The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down.