My poems.

Force

Force...

It's such a funny thing isn't it?

I force myself everyday to wear a mask when I'm not happy.

I force myself to get out of bed after tossing and turning and not getting enough sleep every night.

I force myself to struggle through my anxiety, my fears, and wants.

I force myself to distract myself through the scars of pain from memories lurking and popping up in my head.

I force myself to constantly distract myself from my thoughts and emotions because it's just to much.

I force myself to pretend that it's okay and that I deserve all the shit that people throw at me.

I force myself to be fine that I'm unlucky.

I force myself to pretend that I'm not going insane....

I force myself to pretend that getting used constantly for my body, kindness, and trust...is okay because it's only this person....

I force myself to call myself beautiful and smart when I don't feel it at all or force myself to not laugh or feel like people are just trying to make me feel better about myself or just saying it to just say it....

I force myself to pretend that all the chance I give to people aren't being taken for granted.

I force myself to pretend that someone distances themselves from me or ignores a simple message and doesn't respond for hours is okay because I'm boring to talk to anyways or I'm bothering them.

I force myself to hold back all my tears that want to come out because why the hell am I crying for?

Want to know why?...

Because I am no one but a normal person, with first world problems complaining about the pain I've went through, while others have been through worst hells and back..