Damaged

The Idea of Love

Strolls down the street, with a bright beautiful smile on her face.

Talking to her friends as if nothing ever happened.

Until one question comes up, what is your idea of love?

Well he was about 5 feet tall with hazel brown eyes.

Brown hair swooshed to the side.

Felt like a hero, but more like a villain.

Spoke like an angel.

Knew exactly what to say, when to say, and how to say it.

She was a walking ray of sunshine.

He was a walking black cloud.

He was looking everywhere for an escape, but didn't know he was directly looking at one.

... "the idea of love"

Never imagined it would have been how it felt like.

Agonizing pain..

Constantly waiting for the rainbow at the end of the storm.

Instead of the rainbow, it felt like waiting for the rain in the middle of a drought.

Expecting someone to give her something she thought she deserved.

She gave him everything, everything she had to possibly give away.

Lost in the middle of a storm.

A storm consisted of confusion, hurt, pain, suffering, distrust and deception.

"... the idea of love"

Pushing someone away and deceiving them without remorse.

Without a conscience.

Without a care in the world.

Made-up stories to make her feel bad for him and continue this so called "love"

Pathetic excuses for his behavior..

The one who gave everything, listened, cared, loved with everything she had.

Became "the bad guy."

It was her fault he had become this way..

" If you were a better woman, I wouldn't do the things I do."

She held on to the last little bit until she lost everything.

Friends.

Him.

Herself.

He created the worst version of her.

Alcohol became her best friend.

The one she could possibly trust in numbing her pain.

Taking another sip of another drink.

A drink that was consisted of trust issues, hurt and depression.

Until she reached the end of the bottle.

Now she is a mess that one day someone can possibly love.

"... the idea of love."

Who knows when she will receive the feeling again, but for now that idea of love is just as painful as bullet wound.