Sold To The Dun Boy • Joshler SHORT STORY

11

There's not much to say, Tyler. But trust me, I don't regret what had happened between us. I don't regret what we were, and I can't believe I was stupid enough to keep pushing you away. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think that what I was doing was protecting you. Yet it was all backward.

How can I protect you when you now live twenty minutes away from my home. It's a bit strange for me to call you every morning and night. When we both rather watch each other's eyes close and open every night and morning.

I've done regretful things in my life. But pushing you out of my arms, looking at you and saying words that I don't mean we're at the top of my list. I never meant for us to get at this point. I never meant to look at you and for one second think you belonged to me. In a sense, you are mine, but you're not really mine. I am not holding you, protecting you as I want.

And it's my fault. And Tyler I am so sorry. I want to ask for forgiveness, but I'd rather you hate me. Show me that my chances are gone and you've moved on. Yet there's this hope in me that maybe you'll come back. Shit, I shouldn't say this and confuse us, I shouldn't think that you will come back when I beg. But just know that if I just didn't push you to the point where you hate me now, I will hold you till we are both purple.

I should stop now, I miss you.

xJosh

+.+

Tyler looked at the sealed envelope. He had been looking at it for three days. He didn't have the guts to break the seal, yet he still had this gnawing at the back of his head.

He placed it back on the counter, moving to watch movies, but fuck him. He went back to the envelope, ripping it open, his eyes scanning over the letter, one time and then again.

Anger blistered mixed with sadness and he was just pissed. He was disappointed. He grabbed his keys. He went to his car, starting the ignition, throwing the now crumpled paper into the passenger. He didn't care that it was raining or thunder was clouding around him.

By the time he got to the home, the downpour was heavy. He got out, his black shirt and jeans now sticking to his body. He had the paper in one hand, walking through the rain to his door and banging hard on it. There was no answer, so he banged on it again, hating how he was waiting.

The Rain was ice cold but the weather was warm and Tyler was pissed Josh had him standing out here. The door began opening, a disheveled red-eyed Josh answering. The blanket wrapped around his shoulders falling to the floor. "Tyler."

"Shut up," Tyler seethed, stepping over the frame into the house, water droplets falling to the ground. He raised a hand, hitting the paper against the older man's chest, "I don't even know what to think anymore. You know how bad I wanted this, I would fight for you, Josh. You fucking took care of me at my worst, I looked at you like you're the fucking light of my life!"

Josh was backing away, trying to create some distance between him and the wet man. "And then after sending me away, you get your maid to fucking give me a letter. Couldn't even show up at the god damn place you bought for me. Couldn't send me the letter yourself!"

"You left me!" Josh yelled back, his voice hoarse. "You left without saying goodbye. You left and I just thought it was all games Tyler. I, fuck, I thought you'd give me a chance to see. Because I know that if I saw you looking around that apartment, I'd take it all back. You would be here with me, but you left with no goodbye."

"You- " Tyler didn't know what else to say, anger coursing through his veins as he grabbed at the white beater, pushing Josh against the wall. Both let out a groan, and Josh not taking Tyler's bullshit then grabs at the wet shirt, flipping them over. "You never wanted me, didn't you. Gave me some shit-head-sob-story so you can take my virginity."

Tyler pushed as hard as he can, making Josh hit the table behind him, things falling to the floor, crashing and breaking into smaller pieces. Josh regained himself, sitting up and wrapping around the table to give them space. "I didn't even know you were until we slept together. Literally thirty seconds before it happened."

Tyler pounced (like a cheetah) at the man, landing on the table first. Josh saw his motive, moving up on the table also, grabbing at Tyler hands that continuously hit at his chest until they were slammed to the wooden top. Tyler turned his head away, a gasp escaping then crying into his shoulder, adding to the already damp clothing. He felt how Josh's hands softened and he flipped him off, Josh falling to the ground with a thunk and a groan showing he was in pain.

Tyler made his way over, sitting on Josh's lap, both hands keeping Josh's up. When the older looked up at Tyler, although his head hurt from the fall, he still couldn't believe the strong feeling. "Don't you see Josh. I will fight until I get what I want." Tyler whispered.