Still // m.c. [DISCONTINUED]

// first //

Michael's P.O.V.

Heavy breathing. Along with the thoughts, something that one could perfectly feel. Heart racing. After the pressure felt, it kept going faster. Panic. The source. What makes one act away. The sequences of the thoughts, the pressure. 

Running in the black, the only thing you could hear was steps. Not steps. Hard steps. Rushed steps. Panic steps. The steps of one who needs. Who desperates. Who screams. When those become silent, you become used to it. It all goes in a bottle, keep filling. Fill it with the worst fears, the anger, the pain, the soul. While it doesn't have you, it won't be fully filled. It will always be an empty bottle, trying to collect the worst of you. And it feels almost like you're forced to do it. Because you are a prisioner of your own thoughts. Of your own bottle.

Please. Cracked voice, into the void was all nobody could hear. I desperatly opened the small door, letting my body fall down on the colder-than-myself bathroom floor. Extremely loud and kind of ''blurry'' noises mixed with unbridled breathing echoed through that small and almost empty space. I could perfectly see the water pipes were not working, the conditions weren't the best. Two words for that: college parties. I could say myself I wasn't made for these parties. Nor for any other else. I can't really tell why I came here anyways. I guess I could just tell my parents I'm drunk, so they wouldn't start arguing about how sick I could be. 

I let myself cool down, trying not to close my eyes, because I knew they would be here, and I would start feeling that again. I can't think of something nice. Maybe because nothing nice has happened to me lately. Maybe because I am not nice. Stop Michael. I shake my head as an attempt to get those thoughts off my head. After a long 10 minutes lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling covered in dust, I put my two hands on the floor, trying to equilibrate my own body so I could sit up. Once I did, I heard the noises from earlier fading and fading, and my head started to feel dizzy. Fuck. Was the only thing I could say before my mind and body went black.