Jab Bana Uska Hi Bana ~ AVNEIL

Part Eleven

Neil's POV-

"Is there something bothering you" Avni's question shook me out of my trance, I knew that she would ask eventually. I always wondered what made a man a monster, the answer was love. When you love without any limits, you will do anything to safeguard the ones you love, even if that means doing something you never thought you would.

I let go of her hands so quickly in order to pull myself together, instead leaving my hands feeling empty. "Sit down". So she did, I didnt want to tell her, I wanted her to love the man stood infront of her but love based on lies would never last and I had to give her the option to leave when she knew who I really was, what I was really capable of. "3 weeks prior to you losing your memory I got pictures sent here of you in bed with another man, it seemed even when the evidence was infront of my own eyes I didnt want to believe it, I couldnt believe the woman I loved could ever be with someone else". I couldn't look her in the eye, I had lost that right. What I had done could never be undone, it was far too late for that. "So I asked you and you broke down, you told me you cheated, I told you to get out but then you told me you did it for me" 

"Did it for you" she whispered, her eyes burning with anger

"Dev threatened you, said if you wouldn't be his for a night, he would kill me" 

She reached out to hold my hand then clenched her hand and put it down, so I covered her hand in mine, it would be the last time she wanted my comfort, the last time she would want me. I wanted to take my words back, I never wanted to see her hate me, but I wouldn't lie to her, I couldn't "So I went to find him and I did, I confronted him, beat him till his last breath for ever touching what was mine, for ever hurting you, I couldnt feel anything but anger and hatred, I took him to the hospital after but he didnt make it and honestly I have no regrets but I know you deserve much better than a murderer, so if you want to leave then" 

I felt her hand pulled away from mine, she stood up and ran out, it was over I had lost her. I threw my head back, uncaring for the tears that rolled down my cheeks, my heart hurt, my chest tight with the knowledge of what had just walked away from me

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Avni's POV-

I hated myself, I cheated on the man I loved, I felt dirty and disgusted with myself.I heard Neil walk into the room but I couldn't move, still frozen as I bent over the sink trying not to wretch again.

"You dont have to look at me if you dont want to, I just want you to listen, I love you, and I always will and if you want to leave then I understand, the day we married I moved all of my property into your name, its yours, I will always love you, im sorry I couldnt be the man you deserved" 

I closed my eyes at his words, how could he be so kind after all of this? My knees shook under the weight of his words and I felt him move to hold me but I moved away, he deserved better. My heart broke as I heard his voice break, his next words making me feel even worse

"Please dont be scared Avni, I would never hurt you, please I know it's a lot to ask but can I just hold you in my arms, just one last time, like you're mine" 

I couldn't ignore his request and walked over to him, his hold making me feel even worse

"I love you, ill love you even if you love someone else but I wont be the man to beg you to stay, I love you enough to let you go" he whispered in my hair "You taught me how to love like that" he paused "God I love you so much it hurts"

I trembled in his hold as I moved to cup his face "What you did was for me, I could never hate you, I hate myself for cheating on you, I feel so"

"No" his voice was stern, pained. "You did not cheat, Dev tried to rape you, this isnt your fault, its his, moments before he died he laughed in my face, he said you were going to and then couldnt because you love me, you didnt cheat, he knocked you out and made you think you did, in every way your heart still belongs to me"

Like a weight off my shoulders I fell into his arms, I hadn't cheat, "I want you to take it away, take everything away, I just want to be yours" 

"But I" my fingers covered his lips

"No, please, I want to be yours completley" I had often wondered how someone could give their body to someone if they didnt love them, then it hit me, I loved Neil, I always had. I wanted to have every part of me be his, the way every part of him was mine

"I dont think you know what you're asking" he shook his head fast

"I do, I know I do, I want you to make love to me Neil, please" 

Like he was unable to ignore my request he pressed his lips to mine, finally I had found my heaven, his hands on my waist tucking me impossibly closer, his lips on mine providing me with the sweet sensation only he could give me.

The only thought in my mind was I loved him and he loved me and that was all that would ever matter. He was my Neil, I had no reason to fear when he was around, he would keep me safe and in return I would guard his heart

Sorry for the wait!