4am

six

The illuminated digits on the alarm clock show that it is gone three am, therefore far past the point any normal person would begin to grow tired. However, Saffron is clearly not normal, as she feels wide awake.

    She lies on her back with her legs bent, staring straight upwards. In her old bedroom she had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck all over the ceiling, forming her own private constellation. It wasn't much, but it gave her something to focus on during her sleepless nights at least.

    A focus point is exactly what she needs right now; her mind is spinning. Everything just feels like too much, especially right now.

    Saffron once read a quote that summed up this feeling of not belonging perfectly.

    'The hours between 12am and 6am have a funny habit of making you feel like you're either on top of the world, or under it.'

    Tonight, like most nights when the time reaches this sort of hour, she feels just as though she's under the world. As she lies on her bed she's being crushed by her persistent thoughts and anxiety.

    However, occasionally it's the other way round and Saffron really does get a strange sense of being on top of the world specific to the night. This is on nights like when she first started texting Noah, when she didn't feel so alone.

    Noah. She hasn't spoken to him in three days, since the... incident. She tries to persuade herself that it isn't purposeful, but really she knows it is.

    But what are you supposed to say to someone you've just rejected? Idle conversation about the weather and the cosmetic downsides of insomnia doesn't seem to cut it anymore. By asking that question Noah has breached the lines of their friendship, making it unsteady and confusing.

    Saffron would like to say that she dislikes him for it, but she can't. Instead all she really feels is flattered. A cute boy asked her out, she would be odd if she didn't appreciate it. But this only makes the situation twice as baffling for her.

    Not only is she wondering just why Noah asked her out, but she's also trying to figure out why she turned him down.

All of the incoming texts from Adam on Saffron's phone have been left unread. She's attempting to limit her issues and right now he may be irritating but Adam isn't worth taking up much of her thoughts. Then again, he never was.

    Catching her mind drifting onto the topic of her ex-boyfriend, Saffron sits up. She's clearly not going to fall asleep any time soon; she may as well try to do something with this time.

    Of course, when Saffron pulls back her curtains she sees that the window opposite is casting a soft glow onto the dark side passage beside to her house. His blinds are down, shutting him away from her.

    Taking a deep breath, she opens her window. Her fingers scramble on the side for a moment to find a suitable object, until they come into contact with a discarded pen. She picks it up with a slightly shaky hand and throws it out of her window, surprised when it makes it and collides with the opposite window with a satisfying clink.

    Moments later the blinds are being drawn up and she sees him. The only item of clothing on his body appear to be the plaid pyjama bottoms hanging from his hips, the rest of him is bare. Suddenly embarrassed, Saffron doesn't know where to look.

    "Hey," Noah says at last, but she can't tell if he's pleased to be speaking to her. At least she knows she hasn't woken him up.

    "Uh, hello."

    As if anticipating that the following conversation is going to take a while, Noah sits down on his window seat after pulling on a thin white t-shirt. Saffron doesn't know whether to be relieved at the fact she's no longer faced with his naked chest.

    "I guess we should talk." Noah sighs as he says it.

    "I guess we should," Saffron replies, before realising that     she's required to continue their dialogue further. "Shame your Mum interrupted us the other day."

    That's a lie, she thinks as she says it.

    Three days previously, when Saffron had just told Noah she 'can't' go out with him and his mother had come rushing out of the house to greet them, she'd felt immensely relieved that somebody was easing the tension.

    Still, Noah manages a short laugh under his breath. Out of decency, probably.

    "Listen, Saffron, can we just forget that whole conversation ever happened?" Noah asks. He seems to regret the entire ordeal just as much as she does.

    To which she replies, "What conversation?" with an attempt at a wink.

"Saffron?"

    "Mhm?"

    They're both slouched in their opposite window seats, not fully awake. These words are the first they've uttered in a while but that doesn't matter. Saffron has discovered that just the presence of somebody else is enough to push away the early-hour-depression.

    "Do you think it's weird that we're so similar? I mean, we're both insomniacs, of course, but there's other stuff. The social anxiety, and I reckon I'm sort of depressed sometimes... I don't know; I can't form coherent sentences when I'm like this. I just mean, it's a huge coincidence, right?"

    Saffron hesitates for a minute or so - or at least she thinks its a couple of minutes; time seems to become weirdly distorted at this time.

    At last, she responds, "Not so much. I read somewhere that people with insomnia are way more likely to have mental health issues like anxiety and vice versa. So I guess its not as coincidental as it first seems."

    Noah's face becomes a mixture of impressed and in awe. At least, Saffron thinks that's how he feels; she's not the best at figuring out people's emotions.

    "Wow. You're smart," says Noah, shifting position so that he's looking right at her.

    Saffron instantly looks down and when her eyes venture upwards his gaze has become fixed on the space to her side. Oh.

    "Thanks. I guess not having any friends gives me more time to study," she replies, in a tone that makes Noah question whether she's joking or not.

    "You don't have any friends?" he asks, surprised.

    Saffron sighs. It's late (or early, depending how you look at it) and she's only 70% awake and another awkward conversation is really not what she feels like.

    "Can we save that for another day?"

    "Another day," he nods. "Besides, you don't have no friends, 'cause you have me."

When Noah checks his watch and discovers it is fast approaching five o'clock, they both decide its time to stop being semi-asleep on their window seats and go be properly asleep in bed.

    "Goodnight," Saffron says, clambering off the seat and rubbing her eyes.

    "Night, Saff," Noah mumbles back, then winds down his blind.

    As she closes her curtains and slips between the sheets, there's one thought lingering in Saffron's fatigued mind:

    Saff. That's new.