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EPILOGUE

[To: Dan]
[Sent at 9:22 PM]

It's been three months since you left, Dan.
I'm a mess.
I can't believe how horrible I was to you. I can't believe I ruined everything.
You've stopped uploading YouTube videos, Dan.
Why?
People ask me about you, and I just say you're fine.
How do I explain this?
How do I tell everyone that I ruined our friendship?
That I ruined everything?
I'm sorry, Dan.
I'm more sorry than I've ever been about anything.
I am a complete and utter wreck without you.
The demons you have, you've shared them with me.
It's hard to put on a smile for a video.
I pretend not to see the comments, but they're everywhere.
People know my smiles are fake.
People notice the dull look in my eyes.
People see the tears when they start to brim, even if I pass it off as a yawn.
And people know it's because of you.
Yet, they choose my side.
And it feels wrong.
Dan, I don't know why I'm writing this.
I don't know why I'm wasting my time.
I guess I just wanted to say one last thing.
I guess I just wanted to try one last time.
Do you think you can forgive me and come home?

[To: Phil]
[Sent at 9:26 PM]

Right after you told me, when I texted you back?
I said that this isn't a book, nor is it a movie.
And I meant it.
I didn't move on, Phil, I miss you.
I have a girlfriend. I see no reason to provide a name.
I never loved you romantically, I'll admit.
I never saw you as anything more than a friend.
And I hate to say it, but that will never change, no matter how hard either of us try.
So, I won't try.
You ruined your chances, and you know that.
So, in order to make myself feel better, I'm going to end this text.
And I'm never sending another text again.
I miss you.
I will always love you as a best friend.
But I'm saying goodbye, for the final time.

[To: Dan]
[Sent at 9:28 PM]

Good.
I'm glad you moved on.
And, for what it's worth, I really hope you're happy.
Because I, on the other hand, am the farthest from.
[Read at 9:28 PM]