JIN centric

White Pills

Seokjin sighed as he felt the warm water around his shoulders as he tipped his head back against the bathtub. It was warm and relaxing, soothing out his pained muscles. He smiled as he opened his eyes and looked at the white pills he held tightly in his hand.
It was odd for him to hesitate. He had already chosen that this was the best for him. So he popped three pills in his mouth, ignoring the shaking of his hands and swallowed.
This would be the last. It was time for everything to end.
He giggled humorlessly at the cloth that stuck onto his body.
The oldest, fat, useless member of BTS, Kim Seokjin was about to come to an end.
He let his mind drift off to a hazy space as he started to remember things.
Jimin had once told him whilst dancing how much he loved the way he danced. He was happy then, but he soon found out that Jimin only said it out of pity.
Jungkook said that he needed Seokjin the most, but he could drive now.
Hoseok called him cute, but whenever he looked in the mirror he was fat and ugly.
Namjoon called him beautiful, Seokjin thinks he's talking about someone else.
Yoongi complimented his voice and how he's improved, Seokjin thinks he's untalented and useless to the group.
Taehyung confessed he loved him, he's lying.
Thinking back, his members always showered him with meaningless words.
"I love you hyung."
"Hyung, please we love you."
Seokjin bitterly smiled, how he wished he could believe all that nonsense.
How many times had they told him they loved him? He probably wouldn't be able to count.
They always clung onto him and sprayed him with words that were supposed to 'help him' or something.
Seokjin didn't want those words. He knew behind them the members frowned and called him useless. Though he never saw them talk for sure, he knew in his heart that they did. Who wouldn't? He was such a talentless human.
Seokjin could slowly feel his eyes dropping close as his mind getting more hazy.
He wanted to believe, he really tried but enough was enough. No more kind words, just forever for himself.
He wished they lived in a different world where he was an ordinary man. Living a normal life with a family and a few close friends.
Deep down in his heart he wished his members will be with him in his next life too.
Selfish, even at his final moment. Seokjin shook his head in disappointment. He slowly slumped deeper into the water until his chin was touching the surface.
He was sleepy. His eyes were barely open as he felt his eye lids getting heavier.
He let them close, his vision all black now. A tear slipped out.
He really didn't want to do this, did he. He knew the truth, he wanted to live more. Sing and dance more. Live his life as Kim Seokjin more. Love his members more.
He never once told his members he loved them.

I love you. Please, forgive me.

I hope we see each other again.

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Request from @vaultoffanfic for angst.
It's really short but I'm not really good with angst so sry...