Don't Ask Don't Tell

Chapter 13: Like a brick to the face

When Yoongi got home, he went straight to his bedroom and flopped onto his bed face-first, ignoring his mother asking him why his hand was bloody and what did he just get himself into? Yoongi sighed as he looked up at his desk, because he had studying to do and it wasn't going to do itself, and then noticed his desk calendar. It was February 23rd. The test he was putting off studying for was on the 26th. It was his birthday in two weeks, even though he knew it would go with little celebration now that he'd just clocked Namjoon and left him bleeding on the side of the road.
Yoongi sat up. His birthday was in two weeks. The heist.
Oh, shit.
He had completely forgotten. Yoongi brought the calendar closer, wishing that he had just read it wrong. He'd totally just read the wrong month. It had to be January still, right? Or maybe it was April and Yoongi just hadn't noticed.
"February" stared back at him, in bold, 14pt Helvetica font.
Shit.
There was no way he could push off the heist. There was just something about the possibility of getting shot on his sixteenth birthday that he didn't like. Call him crazy, but dying on his birthday didn't seem very fun. Although it was supposed to be poetic, since some famous dead poet died on his birthday, but Yoongi never enjoyed being poetic.
Yoongi sighed. Once again, whether or not he wanted something seemed to mean jack shit. He had better get used to the idea of potentially dying on his birthday because that just seemed to be how life was fucking him over lately.

"Okay, so, here's the basic layout," Jiho said, laying out more floorplans. These were more blueprints than Yoongi had ever seen in his life, and he had taken an architecture class in ninth grade. He supposed that since these were nefarious blueprints, they were more important.
Nefarious blueprints. Yoongi decided that would be a good band name. If he ended up living long enough to form one, he was sure that it'd be cool.
"Daehyun will be first in, followed by Felix, Changbin, Yijeong, Suga, and V. Take a left. Try not to look conspicuous, although for some of you I think that'd be easier said than done." Jiho said, eyeing Felix, who was doodling a graphic, detailed, and realistic depiction of a man getting shot in the head on the edge of the blueprints. The thought that Felix might be a bit psycho crossed Yoongi's mind but left just as quickly as Felix looked up and smiled at him. Such absolute crazy in such cute packaging made Yoongi feel uncomfortable. How unstable could a thirteen-year-old be?
"Are you sure Felix should be included in this heist? He seems a little... well... how should I put it?" Daehyun said.
"Fucking batshit crazy?" Yijeong filled in. Daehyun nodded.
"Well, every group needs a wildcard, don't they? Plus, if Changbin was involved, Felix would be too. You know that."
"Wildcard, bitches!" Felix exclaimed, clearly too thrilled to be the token crazy.
Daehyun sighed and rubbed his temples.
Yoongi could sympathize. Felix often gave him a headache as well.
"Continuing on," Jiho said, pointing a narrow and bony finger at the plans laid out in front of him with such authority that Yoongi was compelled to listen.
"You lot are headed to the safe. I, however, will be facilitating the transaction which will lead to your necessary continuation to this project."
"So you'll be threatening the teller to let us into the safe?" Yijeong asked.
"You could put it that way, yes," Jiho said.
"Alright then."
"Continuing on," Jiho said. "At which point we gain access, security will be alerted. If we've done things right the day before, those alerts will fall on deaf ears."
"Or deaf AI," Felix added, momentarily looking up from his drawing.
"Can AI be deaf? Does AI even hear?" Changbin asked.
"Is AI even used in security systems?" V asked.
"All three of you have a combined IQ of seven," Daehyun said.
"Most of those seven IQ points are mine," V said. Felix and Changbin seemed to agree.
"I think it's a five-two split."
"That means you have an IQ of one," Daehyun said, looking at Felix like he was insane.
"No. Changbin and I are two halves of a whole idiot."
"Continuing on," Jiho said, forcefully. "Once we're in, bag up the cash as fast as possible, Suga, you should know about grabbing cash up fast."
"Was that a stripper joke? Fuck you, he's-"
"Calm down, V," Jiho said. "Once we fill the bags, we make an exit out the back, where I'll have a van waiting. Get in, shut the fuck up, next stop, Macau."
"Should I leave my bags in the van, then?" Felix asked. "Because if we're going on a trip to Macau, I'll need my things."
Daehyun, Jiho, and Yijeong sighed in unison.
"You know what, fuck it. Pack your shit and hand it off to me before we go in the first time."
"Can I guarantee that it'll be there?" Felix asked.
"Sure. Yes. It'll be there, don't worry about it." Jiho said.
"Great!" Felix said.
"Is that the only thing you cared about?" Daehyun asked.
"Hey, I have a very specific brand of conditioner I require, and if I don't have it my hair looks absolutely fucked."
Daehyun looked like he was trying to blow Felix's head up using his mind. Yoongi could sympathize.
"Are we all clear on our roles here?" Jiho asked. Felix looked up.
"Can you repeat the part where you said all those really long words? I wasn't listening."
The room collectively groaned.
Yoongi was in for a long night.