What Could Have Been Part I: Anakin's Decision

Confessions

He had to do it. But how?

    Anakin slowly made his way to the Jedi Temple. He entered the Council Chambers for the morning meeting and meditation period. I hate meditation period. he thought bitterly. The thought of sitting perfectly still for a whole hour made him cringe. Sure it was a good place to think, but thinking was never something Anakin Skywalker cared for. Thinking with the Force is essential. You must learn! He scolded himself. Great! Know I sound like Obi-wan! he thought in frustration.

    But if everything went as planned, Anakin would immediately confess to the Council about his secret marriage. The only thing he wouldn't tell them, would be about his baby. The child of the Chosen One would be expected to become a Jedi. They would take my baby! His heart ached with the thought so he shook it out of his mind.

    In the chambers, Anakin found his seat in the huge circle and waited for the meeting to begin. Obi-wan entered and gave him a nod of hello. Yoda began the meeting, "Greetings, Masters. Let us begin with our reciting of the Code." The Jedi stood up and began their routine speech...
There is no emotion, there is peace.
              There is no ignorance,
                there is knowledge.
  There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
    There is no death, the is The Force.

Anakin felt a chill down his spine. You feel emotion, you're ignorant of knowledge, you're overwhelmed with passion, your life is full of chaos, you fear the death of your love. You shouldn't love. You are no Jedi.
   When the other Jedi took their seats, Anakin remained standing. "Something to say, Master Skwalker?" Yoda asked. Anakin frozen in place like a statue. "Master Skywalker?" the little Jedi repeated. Anakin snapped out of his trance, "I am know Jedi," he murmured. Kit Fisto was sitting next to him, and heard what he said, "Master Skwalker, what could und you possibly mean?"

    Obi-wan shifted in his seat across the room. Anakin looked around at his fellow Jedi and took in a deep breath, "I... am leaving the Jedi Order." he announced sadly. A wave of shock passed over the Masters, "What are you talking about?" Mace asked. Anakin swallowed hard, "I am not worthy of the title Chosen One, or Master for that matter. I have betrayed the Order and I am ashamed of my actions. But I am leaving."

     The other Jedi were deeply concerned, but they remained calm, except for Obi-wan, "Anakin! You're being ridiculous! I'm not letting you do this!" The distress in Kenobi's voice made it all the harder for Anakin to speak, "Master Kenobi, I have failed you. I have... done things that you would not be proud of."

    He couldn't tell them about Padme. He couldn't tell Obi-wan, it would hurt him too much. Anakin searched Master Yoda's eyes for an idea of his fate. The wise Jedi closed his eyes and tried to find understanding in The Force. Although the Sith had been eliminated, darkness still clouded the future. Yoda opened his eyes and spoke, "Against your decision, we all are. But, why you have chosen this path, we do not understand." Everyone waited for an answer. Anakin tried to think of what to say, but he couldn't explain to them what he went through the past two years. The pain, the sacrifice, the anger, the love. He looked over at Obi-wan who had his face in his hands. He reached out with The Force and could tell his friend was trying to hide the water building up in his eyes. Please don't cry. "I'm sorry Master Yoda. I can not explain to you my reason to leave. My only wish is that-" Obi-wan stood up, "Anakin, you can't do this." He insisted. Anakin looked away, he couldn't face

Obi-wan. "My only wish is that may leave immediately and low key." Yoda shook his head wearily, "Stop you, I can not. If what you want this is, then release from the Jedi Order, I give you."

    Shame hit Anakin like a blaster fire, and he didn't dodge it. He was no longer a Jedi.

    Anakin gave Obi-wan a finely glance, "I sorry." he said quietly.