Friends

Act 7: Niches and Caves

Act 7

Niches and Caves

I hobbled to school the next day.

Are you asking what happened? Well, halfway up the stairs when I got home from the park, I slipped, tripped and strained my ankle. Kind of graceful, if you ask me. I even did a pirouette on the way down. Luckily, Eli was already home, so he helped me bandage up my leg and carried me to my room.

What a mess that was.

The ankle guard I wore drew a few stares, but not enough for me to care or flip them off, like I usually did to people who annoyed me. I was not my usual self, because my head was still up in the clouds.

I was still thinking about what you did. How you made me feel in that park, at my favourite spot since I shifted here.

I felt like a complete jerk by telling you that we couldn’t be what you thought we could be, indirectly telling you that I didn’t dare risk to sacrifice our friendship for it. I shouldn’t have pushed you away the way I did yesterday and told you that we couldn’t be. I just didn’t want us to be like that.

But your lips were honey-scented and chapped, yet soft.

So soft…

I know how I felt about you, yet I didn’t. Does that even make sense? I don’t think it makes any sense to you.

I loved you. I still do, but I could not risk anything like the coward I was. I loved you that much and like so many other things in my life that I've loved and lost, I didn’t want to lose you and I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t. Ever.

Whatever would you take me for anymore now that we were what we were?

Yesterday, you dropped me off at my house’s porch and left me there to ring the doorbell. You did wave goodbye, but it was just an informal formality: there was none of your usual heart in it when you waved to me every other day. I had wondered if I'd made a mistake, which if I didn’t want to lose your friendship, didn’t want to lose you, I should have promised to kiss you for the rest of my very short stay here.

I ran my hand through my messy hair and half-stumbled into first period homeroom. You were supposed to be there, but I couldn’t see you at your regular seat, so I thought you were staying at home, nursing the brokenness inside you that I was responsible for. My heart cracked slightly for you, but I managed to slip onto my own chair and took out a storybook, reading it through the noise of our other classmates.

--~--

You were still not at school.