Dear H,
Today I went to the graveyard. As I walked into class the morning before I saw your daunting eyes refusing to look at me. It made me laugh because you're so much of a coward you can't face what you've done to me. Even as I drove to see his grave I thought of the terrified face you always give me now. Standing at his grave I felt sadness unlike any other. I remembered waking up late at night hearing him screaming and my shaking hands as I dialed 911. The hospital felt so cold as I sat there praying for his life. As he lay there nearly lifeless I wondered what it would be like to be so peaceful. I wondered why I wasn't dying instead of him. And then I thought of you. Your painful words and harsh stares. In that moment it no longer mattered. You no longer matter. Because when you watch someone die before your eyes nothing can be more painful. Your actions were just petty acts of selfishness, but this would affect me forever. So as I stood at his grave I felt a new kind of emptiness. Now I'm just waiting for the world to slow, I stopped eating weeks ago. Just as I thought I was getting better, he died in front of my eyes once again reminding me that this world is not so kind. But I keep writing regardless of what everyone says. Though I am dying on the inside I still find happiness. Because if I can smile through it all, then I am not destined to fall.
All my love,
R
YOU ARE READING
Dear H
PoetryA book of poems and letters to someone who may or may not read them Copyrights to Readingwithunicorns *completed
