Fighting For You

TWENTY - SEVEN

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Harlow|Phoenix|Other people

Standing in front of the mirror I looked at myself pulling at the black tie that went with my black and white attire. I didn’t know how to dress for this dinner Harlow’s dads were throwing me. This would be my first time meeting her parents! I wanted - no, I had to make a great first impression. I was dating their baby girl only meeting her for the first time just days ago. I was the guy that she talked on the phone with almost every night and even worse was once upon a time the guy that went ghost on her for almost a month.

Did her parents know that I didn’t speak to her for weeks with no reason why to her knowledge? Did her dads hold her and tell her that I was an asshole for being stupid, not saying that I wasn’t.

House parties were usually casual. A simple shirt but what kind of simple shirt? I only had so many clothes with me. It was nothing to go out and buy an outfit I was still lost as to what to buy. A colored button down? A t-shirt? A plain solid shirt? A v-neck? U-neck? No, not a u-neck. I hated those.

Should I wear shorts? Khaki or cargo? Or khaki cargo?

Dress shoes? Sneakers? Slides?

This was too much thinking for a simple get together.

Hearing a knock at my door I pulled off the tie telling whoever it was to come in. Tossing the tie on the dresser I exhaled in frustration looking up at my smiling aunt.

“You seem tense Nicky.” She took a seat on my bed. “Are you nervous?”

Taking off the button down I tossed it on top of the tie putting back on my beater taking a seat next to my aunt. “I’ve meet a few dads back in high school but that was forever ago. I haven’t had to  . . . in awhile.” I said the last part more quietly reaslizing how it sounded as I spoke.

Being in the military made serious relationships a little harder so I kept to myself for the most past and the few times I did hang out with someone of the opposite sex it was just that. A platonic friendship

Looking around my clutter free room aside from the shirt and tie I took off my aunt patted my knee, “Harlow likes you and I’m sure that she spoke the truth about you to her dads. You’re my sweet Nicky and I’ve raised you to be respectful even if someone has thought ill about you. So you have nothing to worry about because you will be your sweet self and they will love you just like Harlow - just like Harlow cares about you.”

Thinking over my aunt’s words I wrapped my arm around her shoulders giving her a much needed hug. “Thanks Aunt Justine.”

“You’re more than welcome and if you had decided to wear something more formal then I would have to change my outfit as well as Dylan’s.” She smiled showed off her laugh lines.

Releasing her I stood to fold up the button down handing her back my Uncle Zach’s tie. “Harlow told me she loved me in her sleep.”

“Are you sure she was asleep and not quiet from nerves?”

“I’m quite sure.” I replied thinking back to my own almost confession when she started snoring.

“How do you feel about her saying it?”

Putting the shirt back in my carry-on bag I sat back down. “Happy.”

“You don’t happy.”

“I am. I’m happy that I know how she feels about me but now that I know I have to wait until she’s ready to say it while she’s conscious.”

“Do you feel the same way?”

“Yes.”

“Then why don’t you say it?”

Already replaying many scenarios about our first ‘I love yous’ the ending never quite played out right in my mind. What if she didn’t say back? What if she froze and stared at me like a deer in headlights? What if she felt obligated to say it back? Dreaming about it and saying it out loud were two completely different things.

“I haven’t found the right time.”

“Saying I love you for the first time doesn’t have to be in a romantic restaurant after a full course meal with rose petals everywhere. It doesn’t have to have a scene. It just needs to be you, Harlow, and the right feeling in your gut. At least that’s what your Uncle Zach told me when I asked him how he felt. We had just -” She looked at me and smiled. “We were lounging around eating ice-cream watching something funny on tv. I was laughing at whatever it was and just so happened to look over to find Zach watching me. He wasn’t laughing, he wasn’t smiling, nothing. I thought something was wrong but then he grabbed me and kissed me hard and told me he loved me.”

“The two of you had something pretty amazing.”

“We did and you will too but now you need to finish getting dressed so we can go. I just heard the shower turned off so Dylan should be out and getting dressed soon. Meet you in the car in twenty.”

Nodding my head I sat back on the bed resting on my hands thinking over again how and if I should tell Harlow that I love her?

Was it too soon?

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Parking in front of Harlow’s parent’s house I talked myself into not tell her. It was too soon. We had been dating for a few months and the only logical reason that I felt this way was because we talked almost everyday. I told her about my life and she told me about hers.

My Aunt Justine and Uncle Zach’s story was nice to hear but we were two different couples. They had been dating for over a year when he told her. Harlow and I were barely scratching four months. Maybe I would wait until I got out and moved back then things between us would be more stable. I wouldn’t just be giving her my heart and packing hers up in my cargo bag to leave for California.

This was best. . . or at least he had to be for now.

Knocking on the white coated wooden door I checked my phone for any messages before looking back at my family and smiled when the front door was unlocked and opened. Turning back with a smile Timara greeted us stepping aside to let us in.

“Good to see you Nick. Mrs. Derman, Dylan. Everyone is in the kitchen.”

Greeting Timara we followed her instructions walking towards the kitchen. I could hear voices talking and then a beautiful laugh that I knew was Harlow’s. Trying not to slow my speed and show my nervousness I walked into the naturally lit kitchen pausing for just a moment taking in Harlow.

Like always she was gorgeous dressed in a tan long sleeve that showed a nice portion of her shoulder, dark jeans, and black shoes. Her hair was different from yesterday. It was straightened and yet in large loose curls over her shoulder in a style that made my heart flip.

Turning at the sound of multiple footsteps Harlow’s eyes softened. “You made it!”

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