but, I love you

n i n e

Alecs *PoV*
a few weeks later

It's been a few weeks and a lot has happened. Let me tell you. So that evening that Aiden was at my house, when I was sick. We started talking and at some point he mumbled something I didn't understand and next thing I know he bolted out of the room and out of the house. Since then he is bullying me in school or just completely ignoring me.

 Such a dejavu for me.

Jackson, the homophobic jock or should I say one of them, was caught doing drugs in school. What a genius. He and his family moved to another district to have a fresh start. That meant I didn't see Clayton anymore which I was sad about, because we became close friends over the past weeks.
Naomi is still ignoring me. She is still with that jock Brendan and that might have to do something with her ignoring me. I think. She won't talk to me.

Ben, the Starbucks barista, went on a trip. He sent me a text one day that basically said he is going on this trip to find himself and that he isn't sure how long he will be gone. I tried calling him and wish him a good trip and if we maybe could see each other beforehand but his phone was already off. I was irritated by it and could only think of it being his way of breaking it off, whatever we had.

My little crush on Jayce was over, I think, which is quite good seeing how his relationship with Lorenz seemed to be going excellent. Jayce and his family came over a couple of times. I really liked their company since I have sort of lost everyone of my friends.
I know that this would trigger my depression and I already noticed that it's been getting harder to get out of bed the last couple of days. Of course I haven't told anybody about it. I barely have anyone to tell and I don't want to worry my mom.

I got pulled out of my thoughts by the final bell ringing. I was relieved to say the least. I walked towards my locker and put my books in it and took out my notes for biology. It was Friday and there was going to be a big test next week. That meant I had to learn the whole weekend. Alone. 

That last part didn't sound so bad as the first part and lightened my mood to have an excuse to sit alone in my room over the weekend. Some students stared at me as I made my way out of school. I didn't bother asking anyone because I already knew that someone spread some rumors, which of course where only rumors.

I got in my car and laid my head  against the steering wheel. I connected my phone to the car and pressed play. Zedds remix of Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes started playing and I didn't bother changing it. I started the car and got on the road. When I got home I had the urge to go into the woods and just relax. So I rolled a couple of joints, packed them up and grabbed a lighter. I made my way downstairs and took a bottle of water. I wrote a note for my parents so they'd know not to wait with dinner for me. I walked out of the front door and made my way towards the woods. I started jogging and quickly picked up my pace. It felt good. Like I was running away from my problems, my thoughts. I ran through the trees and took a deep breath of the wood scent. I loved it. The fresh air with a hint of dirt and moss. Pure goodness. I kept running for another ten minutes. I got to a little lake. No one was close to me.

As I sat down I realized that I've seen this lake before. But from above. It was when I and Clayton left the party. It was a start of our friendship and I still think to this day that Clayton wanted more then to just be friends. I felt sorry but it was just not the right time.

Speaking of a party, I could hear loud music playing from the direction of the houses. I sighed. I didn't get invited to anything in a while and it low key bothered me. I tried to convince myself that it didn't... but it did.