Kiss me passionately (jikook/Kookmin)

"Faded" (Jimins Focus)

Hey guys. So this chapter contains the subject matter of self harm and if you are a victim of self harm and this kind of content would provoke you to self harm, please do not read.

Speaking as a self harm victim I'm just warning you.

Thank you, please enjoy.
_______

"I'm not good enough."

The words that always came to his mind went before he went to his habit/old friend that always made him feel. So. Much. better.

After jungkook left I wondered to my room and then into my bathroom.

I'm not good enough

4 words that were also swirling in my head along with the words jungkook spoke, haunted my thoughts.

I opened the first drawer of the bathroom counter, and took out a little box.

Inside the box was my old (not so old) friend.

The razor.

I rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie and put the razor down on the counter to do so.

I looked at the scared skin on my wrist and lightly glazed over the scared skin with my fingers.

"Come on jimin. What are you waiting for. So easy. Your not good enough, for anyone. Not even the love of your so called 'life' jungkook. Just a few slits and all the pain will be gone." The voices of Depression spoke in the back of my mind.

My expression was blank as I reached for the razor.

I cut one, then two, then three, and so on.

I got up to about 10-11 on each wrist before I decided to stop.

I put the razor down and turned on the sink.

I put my left wrist under the cool water and washed the dripping blood off of my wrist and then did the same for the left.

I got out the wraps and medical cloth and wrapped my wrists.

I then pulled my sleeves over my now wrapped wrists.

A habit that was so familiar I knew exactly how to do.

My emotions were faded as my habit that had always made me feel, "better", had done well.

I went downstairs and grabbed 4 ibuprofen for the pain of the cuts and then went back upstairs.

I laid down on my bed and covered my body with the blankets.

I decided to go to sleep since it was late and I needed the rest from what had happened.

I needed a break from my thoughts, although, I never did get a break.

Jimin please.

It was a mistake.

Your not good enough.

No one cares.

You don't matter.

My thoughts whirled around but at the same.

I put on my headphones and started music to drown out my thoughts, and headed to sleep.

To be continued.....