Portraits of The Songs | BON IVER

VI. Hinnom, TX

It was all blurry.

Fading in and out.

Like the lenses refused to focus. And the snippets of sound in the background fading in and out was confusing.

I lost it. Then I could feel it again. And strangely I felt light, almost like I could just float away. But my chest reciprocally heavily planted to something I couldn't see. Like it was stuck. Unable to get away. Impossible to get away.

But it felt like I should get away.

From what? I don't know.

It was all blurry, then it was pitch black. One second I could see, then I couldn't again.

But I felt strangely free.

But can't.

What is this?

This constricting feeling in my chest refused to fade away, like the rest of the things around me. Confusing, but strangely familiar.

What was it that held her back in here? Whatever here was.

Was it love?

Because I strangely felt loved.

Am I?

Was I?

Loved?

I couldn't make out what that was. But I could see blurry things. Green. Vast. Endless. Dots and dots and dots of blackness. It moved, focusing into one center point.

And suddenly I heard familiar voices. Shoothing. Like it was meant to send me to sleep. But I couldn't sleep.

That blurry blackness focused into one big circular blackness, surrounding something green. I couldn't see but I wanna see.

My chest tightened and I heard that voices getting clearer. One second, and then fades away.

I drift in. Blend in. Fit in to that blackness, but it pushed me away.

And I see what it was that they were surrounding about.

I read and I see.

Here lay

Beloved daughter, sister, and friend

Oh.

I see.

I was loved.

Peculiar warmness suddenly engulfed me and I felt myself lighter, slipping away easier, the blurry thing came in focus, and everything was white.

Thank you.

Thank you for loving me.