seoyeon hung upside down off the edge of her bed, eyes following lazily as yoongi sketched her. he had always been someone that she could depend on. he would lift her up when she fell down and wipe her tears when life just wasn't going her way. she was lucky to have a friend like him.
"do you hate jin? ya know, for dumping you?" he asked. he didn't look up from his notepad, eyes narrowing as he tried to capture the lost look in seoyeon's eyes.
"i don't think i could ever hate him." she breathes out. and it was true- despite having told jin the complete opposite. in the moment she had wanted to make him feel like he was making a mistake. hoping that her weak insult would make him do a double take, maybe even have him regretting his decision. the more she thought about it, the more she regretted it.
seoyeon sighs for what seems like the millionth time and moves into a sitting position. she no longer wanted to mourn jin. it took up so much of her energy and she was so tired. she had a life before him, so why was this so fucking hard? she looks over at yoongi, meeting his gaze. he tilted his head as he leaned back onto his hands.
"seo", yoongi began, "i know being sentimental isn't our thing but ah- this is weird, um, just- just don't let him consume you, alright? it's odd to see you looking so-"
"dead? unmotivated? lost?" she said, finishing his thought. he frowned but slowly nodded.
"i know that you love him, but that doesn't mean that he's necessarily the best thing for you kid. just keep that in mind." yoongi says, offering a small smile. seoyeon simply nodded.
a comfortable silence falls over them. neither one knowing how to change the subject. seoyeon knew yoongi was right. she thought those things herself, but everything is so much easier said than done. she knows that one day the aching in her chest will dull, she knows that eventually another boy is going to come along who's touch will feel like fire and his words will taste of vanilla. she knows this pain is only temporary, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
wordlessly, she stands. a curious yoongi watches as she slips on a sweater and sneakers, throwing him his jacket as she approaches the door. "let's go on a walk."
seoyeon's mind became more clear, more resolute with each stride she took. the pair had been walking for about half an hour around her neighborhood talking about anything and everything. they had come up on a bridge when seoyeon abruptly came to a stop, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath of the cool night air.
yoongi watched her, unsure of what was going on. "is everything alright seo?"
was everything alright? no, but she so desperately wanted it to be. she steeled herself to only think of her future from now on. a brighter future that she was to build, mold, direct. one that no longer would include seokjin. "i think so." she responded quietly.
as they continued to walk seoyeon felt cathartic. it was odd, but she felt more in control of her own mind, body, and soul. however, she knew if jin were to round the corner and smile at her at this very moment then she would be done for. but for right now, he was out of sight and out of mind. for right now, she felt at peace. for right now, she had no intentions of ever going back to him. but how long is this feeling going to last?
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i'm always so afraid that my work makes no sense or is too rushed.
let me know what you think?
in other news, college is killing me.
xooxox
