smother me with lies.
coat my sense of rational comprehension and conscience
with a plastic exterior,
to replicate the feeling of
'being loved' ,
so at least then
i don't have to bare listening
to your lame excuses
for hurting me anymore.
instead
replace them with fake sweet nothings
to make up for the bullshit
you gave me,
to suppress
and upkeep
my deteriorating happiness.
i will give myself up to you,
and let you use me as a distraction
when even i am distracting myself
from the underlying truth behind your layer of made up justifications ,
i pretend to believe you
and maybe if i tell myself
i believe you.
i believe you.
i believe you.
eventually,
i will believe you.
i will believe you.
i will believe you.
but the last drip of morality
and self respect i have left within me,
the part of me that hasn't yet been suffocated and hypnotized
by not only you,
but my own disorientated state,
says:
i don't believe you.
i don't believe you.
i don't believe you.
and sooner or later,
when you fill up the pot of lies to the brim and it overflows,
i'll come to my senses and realize next time
i will not believe you.
i will not believe you.
i will not believe you.
