It's A Lonely World//Rickyl~Daryl x Rick~Rick x Daryl

The Thoughts And Actions

There I sat, in the forest with my back against a tree, my crossbow right next to me. Alone.

I've been alone my whole life, because it's the only way I feel safe. Feel comfortable. Feel free.

But it wasn't always good. There was always a voice in the back of my head that bossed me around, taking the voice of my brother, Merle.

*What're you sittin' there for, lil brother? Get your faggot ass up and do somethin' with your life. Oh wait! You don't have one. Mom, Dad and I should've ended you when we had the chance, or, you should just do it yourself. You see that knife in your holster? Take it out and slash your wrists with it you faggot*

Like he said, I did as I was told, not being able to control myself as the burning sensation slowly crept up and down my arm, warm, crimson liquid pouring down my wrists.

I finally stopped after about five minutes, and I fell back, staring up at the trees as my vision clouded with tears.

I just closed them, praying that one of those things would have a nice snack.

~~

"Are you sure we should be doing this?"

"Carol, we have to. Look at his arm, he wants this to happen."

"Dad no! Don't kill him! He could still be alive. We don't kill the living, you said that."

"Carl, he could turn, then he could become a threat."

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Carl, just go back to the house."

"But dad-"

"Carl, listen to what I'm telling you."

I heard the click of a revolver hammer being pulled back, and my eyes shot open, and I quickly stood up, the bullet just missing my head.

I looked around for my crossbow, finding strapped on a woman's back.

"Gimme my crossbow back."

"No, we don't know what you could do with it."

"Dad! Don't shoot him!"

I looked over as a little boy with a sheriff's hat ran over to the actual sheriff. He just sighed.

"Who're you with?" The sheriff asked, finally lowering this gun.

"I'm not with nobody. Look at my fuckin' wrist, does it look like I'm with somebody? Just leave me alone."

"We can't just do that. You could be lying, and if we let you go, you could bring back more."

I rolled my eyes.
"Ya fuckin' serious?"

"Tie him up. We'll put him in the barn for the night."

I grinded my teeth as three people started tying my hands. Tightly.

~~

I was tied to a vertical pole in this barn, and I was left alone. Again.

After a couple of hours, the barn door opened, the silhouette of what looked like the little boy walking in.

He sat right in front of me, placing down a plate of food.

"I'm not aloud to be around you, or to give you food, but you seem like a nice man."
I tried my best to eat with my hands tied, but the boy just stared at me.
"Uh, Sir?"

"Mhm?" I said as I finished swallowing.

"Why're you bleeding?"

"Want me to be honest wit cha?" I sighed, taking a small bite of food, then placing it down.

He nodded.
"Yes please. I want to help."

"I don't think you can help me kid. Sorry for the language but, my life is pretty fucked up."

"But why're you bleeding?"

I sighed.
"I wanted to leave this world sooner, but it didn't work out as I'd planned it to be."

"What do you mean?"

"I tried to kill myself my cuttin' my wrists."

"Why would you do that?"

"I...you wouldn't understand. But my family was never there for me. I was either gettin' thrown out of the house, or being abused. My whole family hated my guts because of my sexuality, and I've just been alone my whole life, so I figured, what's the point if no one likes me?"

The kid just stayed silent, his eyes slightly glossy.
"Don't kill yourself please. You seem really nice."

"I-I'll try not to kid. I was just in a dark place."

He nodded, wiping his eyes.
"How did you learn how to use a crossbow, if no one was there to teach you?"

"I taught myself. Everythin' I know, I taught myself. Even learnin' how to drive a motorcycle."

"Motorcycles are cool."

"Sure are."

He paused for a bit, standing up and looking at the barn door, then turning back to me.

"I'd better get going now before I get yelled at. I hope you sleep well, or sleep at all in that position."

I gave a faint grin.
"You too."

The little boy left, sliding the barn door closed behind him.

*Alone once again, huh Lil bro. You don't deserve the Dixon name you faggot*

"Fuck you Merle."

He didn't respond, then I felt my eyes get heavy, and I leaned my head against the pole, closing my eyes.

*Night faggot*

"G'night you fuckin' asshole."

*You better be dead by sunrise*