Bottle and a Gun

Chapter 4: Edge of My Sanity

November 10th, 1998
2:03 AM

I was woken up by the loud crash of breaking glass downstairs. I walked down the hall out of my bedroom, holding my stuffed lion tightly against my chest. Quietly, I crouched down at the very edge of the staircase so I could listen. My papa was yelling. Why was he yelling? Was he angry again? I didn't like it when he was angry.

"Fucking whore! I know what you did! Don't try to fucking deny it because I know better!" I heard him yelling at my mom. His words were mixing together again.

"Daniel, stop! It's two in the morning, you'll wake up DJ!" Mommy cried. I hated when she was upset. I wanted to go downstairs and hug her but I was too scared.

"I don't fucking care! I want you to admit you're fucking that hotshot boss of yours."

I didn't like those words he used. Mommy said they were bad words and I should never say them.

"What? Are you insane?! I would never!"

There was a loud sound, almost like a smack. I didn't like that sound.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Sandra. I see the way you look at him."

"Fuck you, Daniel. Get out, you're drunk and high, I can tell! Get out and don't come back until you can be a fucking father to your son!"

"Fine! I'll leave so you can invite whats-his-name over and let him fuck your brains out! That's what you're good at!"

I heard a different noise this time, like a slamming door. After a moment I heard Mommy start to cry. I don't like it when she cries. I quietly tiptoed down the stairs, seeing her sitting on the floor next to a broken glass.

"M-mommy?" I whimpered, peeking my head around the bannister. She gasped and looked up at me, quickly wiping her eyes and sniffling.

"DJ, baby, what are you doing up? It's late, honey." She got up and walked over to me, kneeling in front of me. She had a bright red mark on her cheek.

"I heard Papa yelling, was he angry again?"

I saw the tears well up in her eyes as she nodded.

"Yes, baby. He was just angry, that's all. Let's get you back to bed, okay? It's late." She moved my bangs out of the way and kissed my forehead. She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs. I felt her shaking. She was scared, I could tell.

I crawled back into bed and looked up at her. Even in the low light of my bedroom I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Danny, baby," She began. I knew something was coming. She never called me "Danny" or "Daniel" unless something bad was about to happen. "Papa's gonna be away for a while. Things are going to be a little different around here. He needs to take some time to not be angry anymore. When he can do that, then he can come back. I just want you to understand that it's not your fault, okay?"

"Where is he going, Mommy?" I asked softly. There was a long pause.

"I don't know, sweetie. But it's just gonna be me and you, alright? I love you so much, baby. Get some sleep." She whispered, kissing my forehead again before pulling my blanket over me and walking out of my room.

I didn't understand. What was going on? Papa didn't say anything about going somewhere...

March 14th, 2009
10:32 PM

I walked up to the house with my best friend Kris. I paused and took a deep breath.

"Hey, D! What are you waiting for? Come on!"