The Gift Horse

Chapter V

After only an hour of being back in her empty house, Meredith is sprawled out on the couch twirling a strand of her hair, sighing with boredom. She normally spends each day running tedious errands, buying groceries to stock up the fridge, going to aerobic classes, and occasionally meeting friends for brunch dates with bottomless mimosas.

Meredith runs through a list of things she could do to keep herself busy right now, rejecting everything that comes to mind. She would rather go back to the Hunt Club and take care of Thor.

Lemon jumps onto her lap, as if to force Meredith to sit still, so Meredith grabs the remote and turns on the television. She flips through the list of recorded shows—there are four unwatched episodes of The Bachelor. It used to be the highlight of Meredith's week because Olivia would sit with her and the two of them would watch together, laughing at how ridiculous the show was. A staged catfight could break out on screen and Meredith and Olivia would giggle uncontrollably. The new season started last month but whenever Meredith suggests they watch it, Olivia makes an excuse and goes up to her room.

"Fuck it," Meredith says to herself.

She puts on the first episode, but it's not as entertaining without Olivia beside her.

Meredith sets dinner for two—Olivia is at an away game for lacrosse so she won't be home until later. When RJ comes home from work, he rushes into the kitchen with his briefcase still in-hand, his collared shirt unbuttoned at the top, and he lets out a happy sigh as he sees food waiting for him.

"How was your day?" Meredith asks after he gives her a kiss. He smells like stale sweat and peppermint gum.

"Good," he says, putting down his briefcase and settling into a seat at the counter. "Have a good day?"

Meredith lets out a breath—he doesn't remember.

"Yes," she says.

"Good."

He starts eating and Meredith sits down beside him. She pushes the broccoli around her plate with the fork.

"I had my first riding lesson today," she says.

"Oh yeah, how'd it go?" he asks mid-chew.

Meredith's energy changes when she speaks, like she's sucking the light out of the room. RJ gets dimmer and dimmer, focused on the piece of crispy meat at the end of his fork, that piece that won't quite get off the bone no matter how much you pick at it. When Meredith realizes that she's starting to lose RJ's attention, she asks, "Can we move Thor to a different barn?"

He's still picking at that piece of meat. "Somewhere other than Westport?"

"No, just one of the other barns. There're six of them."

"What's wrong with the one he's in now?"

"Well," Meredith feels herself recoil as RJ sits up straighter. "It's not very hands-on. The grooms are supposed to do everything for you."

RJ nods.

"And I want to tack Thor myself and groom him myself," she continues.

"You want to what?"

"Put the saddle on him and things."

"That's their job."

"But I want to do it."

"What do you mean you want to do it? You want to shovel horse shit?" He puts down his fork. "Mere, I don't understand. Pam told me that that's the best barn. That's the one she uses so I figured you'd want to be in that barn too."