The Last Wish

chapter one

I remember when I was little. Before depression, before hospitals, and doctors, and medications, I used to love life.

I remember going to school and learning how to add and subtract. I remember the creaking sound the swings made when I was swing just a little to high. and most importantly I remember what it was like to be full of energy and excited for what was to come next.

unfortunately that all ended the day I found out I had cancer.

At first I was very optimistic and I said things like "I will get through this" and "I may be tiny but I'm also mighty."

Unlike my cancer optimism fades after 7 and a half years. Well actually 7 years 6 months and 13 days but who's counting.

I woke up today knowing that it was going to be exactly like every other day. I didn't mind every day being the same life was just a routine for me.

I took 20 mins getting out of bed only to regret my decision and get back in bed for another 30. Then when I finally did get out of bed I walked to the bathroom and did well you know.

I didn't bother brushing my teeth because I'm going to get sick anyways and my breath will smell bad again so what's the point. I never set my bed either because just like there is no point to brushing my teeth there is equally no point in making my bed if I'm going to sleep in it again.

After I was finished in the bathroom I walked to the cafeteria and got a thing of lucky charms. Ok maybe I got two things of lucky charms but that's only because they come in small plastic containers and I'm gonna throw it up anyways so what the hell why not.

Then I walked back to my room so I could eat my lucky charms away from the rest of civilization.

See the cafeteria isn't just for patients it's connected to the rest of the hospital so if I try to eat there everyone stares at me presumably because of my bald head. So I eat in my room.

I kind of take advantage of the fact that no one sees me and I eat like a slob. and then I wash down my lucky charms with water to make it come back up easier.

Today I didn't really feel up to trying to make friends so instead I just went straight for my laptop and started watching Netflix.

I was on the third season of breaking bad and I was planing on finishing it within the next few days. After watching the show up until some episode about a fly, I decided that was enough of the show for today.

I was about to go on YouTube and look up 5 sos interviews when I got a call on my cell.

It was very unusual for me to receive phone calls I mainly just used my phone for games and social networking.

I looked over the railing of my bed at the table that my phone was on. My mom was calling me.

That was extremely unusual because let's just say my mom isn't the most hip person and I'm surprised she even figured out how to turn her phone on let alone call me.

This must be something important so I picked up the phone and got screamed at from the other end.

"GUESS WHAT MELONY GUESS WHO JUST CALLED ME MELONY ARE YOU THERE! god damn it I thought I got this thing working."

"yes mom I'm here you just temporarily made me deaf from all the screaming."

"Oh sorry. But guess what!"

"what mom? Just spit it out already."

"I got a call from the shooting star foundation. they said that they were able to contact that band you like 5 minutes of fall, and that they're going to come visit on Saturday!"

"WAIT, WHAT! 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER IS COMING TO VISIT ME THIS SATURDAY! THATS ONLY 3 DAYS AWAY"

"yea I know isn't it great. they have all the details worked out they'll be visiting from 11:00 to 3:00 and they're gonna bring camera men who will be taking your pictures and stuff it'll be a blast!"

"wait they're gonna take my picture mom you have to get me a new outfit and some new makeup I don't want to look like a hairless cow when they're here."

"ok I'll see what I can do but until then I think you should start figuring out what your going to say to then. goodbye sweetheart I love you."

Oh my god this can not be happening. I knew that my parents had sent my wish in but I never assumed they would respond so fast. I always thought I would be dead by the time they could do anything about it.

This is the most excited I've been since...since...actually I don't think I've ever been this excited.

Maybe my Parents were right maybe I should start looking at life more positively.

That's when it hit me. It hit me like a screen door hits it's frame in a hurricane, it hit me like a baseball player hits a home run.

I had cancer, and yes I already knew that, and yes that's what made it possibly for me to meet my favorite band, but it also meant that I would get maybe 5 minutes of alone time with the guys and that they were going to see my puking and bald and that they weren't gonna find me re least bit attractive and it didn't even matter because I'm dying. No one is ever going to find me attractive I'm never going to have a boyfriend or fall in love or get married or have kids or grand kids and I'm never going to get to see them grow up and I'm never going to grow up my self all because of my stupid fucking cancer.

right then and there I started to cry.

I awoke the next morning, eyes still wet, in the fetal position and wearing the same clothes as the day before.

Don't get me wrong I was excited that I was going to meet 5 sos. Actually ecstatic. I was just upset about what comes after that.

After that they're a really nothing at all left to live for. my parents have accepted the fact that I'm going to die and practically given up on me. 5 sos only knows me as the girl with cancer that were going to meet in 2 days. I have no friends. In reality the only things I'm really good for is eating the lucky charms and spending 8$ a month on Netflix.

That's what cancer does to you it drains your spirits and makes you realize that there's no way your gonna finish your bucket list 1.because obviously your not healthy enough to do half the stuff on there and 2. you can't afford to do the other half because you have to pay the bills.

And this was my mentality for the next 47 1/2 hours. Because after that they're was not time left for moping around because it was 9:27 and 5 sos was going to be here in 1 hour and 33 minutes and there was no time to waste.

My mom had appeared 15 minutes prior to me waking up and she held in her lap to bags one from CVS with all my beauty needs, and the other from Forever 21 containing all the things I wanted down to the shoes

My outfit was a red and black flannel, a white Nirvana shirt, black skinny jeans with rips on the knees, and a pair of knock-off vans because my mom says the real ones were to expensive.

I was all ready to go with my new outfit and a full face of makeup when I realized something was missing.

It was my beanie I ran over to my suitcase in the corner, which was has been used as a dresser for the past seven years six months and 16 days, and grabbed my beanie off the top of the pile and put it on.

Now my look was complete and yes I dressed like them on purpose. I sat down on my bed and anxiously waited. Then they're was a knock at the door.