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sorrow
When life got me down I just tried not to get too sad because there would be a good chance that I could actually kill someone.
Nothing was just my- attempted- constant state of being. I aspired to be completely vacant of all emotion whatsoever for the good of others. So selfless, I know. Killing a person really does a number on your conscience.
Unfortunately, I could be described as a bit of a hothead so this so-called gift was really a terrible fit for my fiery personality.
Fortunately, though, sarcasm didn't trigger any weird powers, so at least my most useful asset was not wasted. If I could systematically push anyone and everyone away with my crude humor then there would be no one to hurt. What a fun life I live.
This was proved even more so when I ran into the exit on the subway and spilled my coffee all over my shirt. I hissed, almost dropping my cell phone from the scalding drink, and an exceedingly loud groan escaped from my mouth. A few witnesses to my failure offered to help, but I waved them off. Thank the Lord I was wearing a blue blouse, and that I didn't drink my coffee black, so there wouldn't be a stain.
I pulled on my maroon hoodie while the spill dried, and continued towards Midtown High, the school I attended, which Uncle James had pushed for me to try and get accepted to. It was a good school, and the people were usually nice, but since my Dad had been a teacher there before he died, the entire staff and the students pitied me. And yes, I expected some form of pity from them, but I didn't want that to be the only reason they spoke to me.
Ginger strands of hair flew from my bun, blowing in the light morning breeze. Attempting to tame them, I nearly missed the school's gated entrance. Stopping abruptly, I almost tripped over my feet and stumbled inside. It was was almost sad how often I fell, dropped things, and was generally a real klutz.
A few kids gestured to me, whispering to their friends. Probably talking about my sad backstory, and how they should feel terrible for me. Nice of everyone to remind me how horrid my life is turning out to be.
Next to me, I heard the sudden appearance of footsteps hitting the pavement, keeping my pace. It was obvious who was walking, since no one but her would really just show up beside me. "Hey, Lilly." I greeted her, waking faster. Sometimes I just wished that that girl would stop trying to make friends with me, and instead quietly pity me like everyone else.
She smiled. "Good morning, Adri." She said happily. I almost groaned audibly. She knew that her little nickname wasn't favorable. And did she always have to sound so happy?
Shrugging, I finally managed to tuck the last loose strand of my hair back into it's bun. "Is it ever a good morning? I just spilled coffee all over myself and forgot to do my homework. I'd say it's not even okay." My phone dinged but I neglected looking at it. It was most likely just another text from Uncle James, asking how I was or something. He was a bit overprotective like that, but it was endearing, I guess.
Lilly just continued walking, and I almost thought she was going to stay quiet for once. But I was unfortunately wrong. "You are always such a pessimist, try looking on the bright side. A little positivity isn't a bad thing every once in a while." A faint ghost of a smile played on her lips, and I scowled.
She watched as I opened the door to the main building of the high school, allowing her to go inside first. "I am not a pessimist, I'm a realist. So realistically, this day has not been turning out well. And, I'm positive that it's only going to get worse. How's that?" She just shook her head a little, and let her small smile grow. It only got bigger when we continued inside to see her friends, Peter Parker and Ned Leeds.
The two boys annoyed me, to be completely honest. Almost everyone did, I guess, so it wasn't really a personal vendetta against them specifically. Although, there was kind of a reason with the two of them, or rather Peter, really. His commitment issues as of late were definitely getting on my nerves. Like, I don't really care how important your Stark internship is, you need to stop quitting all you extracurriculars.
Peter greeted Lilly, and regarded me with a small smile. I nodded in return, "Hi Peter. Hey Ned." Ned was pretty nice, actually, but I kind of disliked him slightly by association. Just how he hung around Peter so much, or at least when Mr. Parker decided to actually show up. That would be a shocking turn of events.
The two boys, continued a polite— and quite dry, if I was being honest— conversation with Lilly. Only occasionally chancing a few words directed at me. I gave exceedingly short answers, which may have very well been the source of the dryness. A few moments later, the bell rung, and without so much as a goodbye, I headed off down the hall. My first period was English, and on the way there, I pulled out a book in a futile attempt at keeping anyone else from speaking to me.
Someone bumped into me lightly, successfully getting my attention. I snapped my book shut, making a loud noise resonate throughout the corridor. There was no question about who was standing beside me, whether it was from the familiarity of his scent, which had stayed the same since fourteen, or his tall stature, I had no doubt that Noah Shepard was walking in step with me.
Glancing up at him, I frowned. "Yes, Noah?" There was barely any emotion behind my words, like I was already bored of Noah's presence. When, in reality, I just wanted to hug him. Too tell him how much I missed his vine quoting, and his comforting shoulder pats, despite their air of awkwardness. How I just wanted to break down and cry whenever I was around him, because I loved and missed him so much that it physically hurt. We'd known each other since before preschool, and I'd spent twelve long, grueling years with him only to abandon the kid later. It wasn't fair of me.
The hurt behind Noah's eyes was impossible to ignore, and I just wanted to punch myself for making him sad. But it was a necessary evil, I told myself, trying to look anywhere but him. I couldn't control myself, my powers, and if I wasn't around him he couldn't be actually put in harm's way.
He smiled weakly. "I, uh, just wanted to say good morning." Noah said, an uncomfortable silence falling between us after.
"Go-od morning," I choked out, unable to keep my voice steady. Not when he had that expression on his face. Not when he stared at me with that look of utter betrayal. "Sorry, um, I have to get to class." He didn't attempt to stop me, although I kind of wished he had. Maybe that would break me, and perhaps I would crack, tell him everything that had happened. And he would listen, no matter how bizarre. Because he's my best friend. Or at least was.
But, we didn't live in a perfect world, so, with warm tears on my face, and a heavy heart, I continued walking. Maybe tuning my back on him forever. A childhood forgotten, a happiness abandoned. Something valuable I probably whenever get back.
I heard his muttered, "bye," but wouldn't turn around. Because, for his sake and my own, I couldn't.
author's note
Ha ha, I love making people sad. Awe, Noah, poor guy. Just wanted to say hi to his best friend, and she shut him down. And also poor little Adri, for getting these horrible powers. Hope you all like Lilly, since she's vaguely based off Luna Lovegood, in a way. A little Peter action in this, too, though it was mostly Adriana insulting him. Anyway, Happy Halloween, to those of you who celebrate it! Have a great day!
