Comrades in Action Book 4: Mason Krustov

Chapter Fifty four

"Why did you run away?" She questioned.

Tinitigan niya ito. He was looking straight ahead. His face occupied with something she can't decipher. A moment later, he exhaled. And then he started to talk.

"I was ready.. believe it or not, I was. I've never been ready for a relationship with a woman before but with you.." He looked at her. His eyes filled with so much intensity. "It felt different. You made me feel something other than lust, Lora. You made me care.. you made me experience something that I have never experienced with a woman before."

He exhaled a shaky breath.

"The moment I figured out what the strange feeling was.. I felt scared. I looked in the mirror and I saw the same emotion I have seen in my mothers eyes. I saw love and the moment it sinked in... I was instantly scared. I was so fucking scared as hell. Natakot akong masaktan.. Maiwan.. When my father died, I saw my mother experienced the loss. I witnessed her feel pain and suffering. Mula noon, I vowed never to feel that kind of pain. Never."

He bit his lower lip.

"Pero mahirap pigilan. Ikaw iyong tipo ng babae na kahit anong iwas kong mapalapit.. kahit na anong pigil ko.. wala pa din. My feelings for you was like a runaway train. Mabilis. Mapusok. Tuloy tuloy. Pakiramdam ko sira ang preno ko sayo."

He looked at her straight in the eyes.

"Pero kung dati takot akong magpa-alipin sa pag-ibig, sayo, hindi. Noon ko lang naramdaman iyong tipong alam ko sa sarili ko kung saan ako pwedeng bumagsak pero para sa iyo, I'd be happy more than happy to fall. Katangahan marahil. Sinabi ko na iyan sa sarili ko. Pero noong mga panahong iyon, risky na kung risky pero wala akong paki-alam. So I decided not hold myself from you any longer. I decided to let the chips fall where they may. But that day, noong araw na handa na akong magtapat sa iyo, that was the day I saw your ex kissing you in the fucking lips."

"What.."

"I saw the two of you kissing in front of your condo."

Umigting ang mga panga nito.

"I felt like I was punched in the gut. Noon ko lang naramdaman ang ganoong klaseng sakit. I felt played. I was furious. Gusto ko kayong sugurin. I want to hurt him. Punch him in front of you. Kill him. Even in the warzone, I have never felt that kind of murderous feeling. Pero naisip ko.. ano bang karapatan ko? Sabi mo nga, we have a no strings attached relationship. He's your ex. I knew you were hurt when he left you. At alam ko, in order for you to get hurt, you must love that person. That much I know. And now that he's back. I'm out of the picture. Hindi ko kayang marinig mismo sa bibig mo na siya ang pinili mo. Sweet cheeks that will surely kill me. Duwag na kung duwag. Pero mas pipiliin ko na lang na umalis kesa sa marinig sa iyo iyon."

Umiling iling siya.

"But Carlos is gay, Mason." Ang gulat na gulat na wika niya matapos pakinggan ang side nito.

He scoffed.

"But how would I know that? It's not like witnessing the woman you love kissing her fucking ex in the lips is a normal thing!"

Hindi siya nakahuma. Like how would she explain that?

"He said it was for old times sake. He finally got together with the man he loves and he wanted to thank me for loving him for all those years noong kami pa. He just wanted to thank me, Mason. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"I know..." Sagot nito na nagpakawala ng isang mabigat na buntong hininga. "At least I know that by now."

"How?"

"I saw him for the first time after three years just last month and I..." Kinagat nito ang ibabang labi.

"And..?" She urged.

"And seeing him again made me remember everything. Him being your ex.. Him kissing your lips.. Him taking you away from me.. I got so fucking mad I ended up punching him in the fucking face!"

Awang ang bibig na napatulala siya dito.

"He was just my friend, Mason."

He gave her a helpless look. "How am I supposed to know that?! Basta ng makita ko siya at ng maalala ko yung araw na hinalikan ka niya sa mga labi, kumulo ng sobra ang dugo ko. I couldn't see any reason and so I just marched towards him and fucking punched him in the face!"

Hindi siya nakapagsalita. He sighed when he saw the unbelieving look in her face.

"Don't be mad at me, sweet cheeks. It's not my fault I couldn't get my emotions in check when it comes to you. It's not my fault I'm jealous as hell.."

"I'm sorry.."

Natigilan ito.

"I'm sorry you witnessed that. I'm sorry you misunderstood and I'm sorry for not explaining."

Naging malamlam ang mga mata nito.

"No.. I'm sorry for running away. I'm sorry for not hearing you out. Patawarin mo ako kasi naging duwag ako."

Lumabi siya.

"Look, we both have a part in the blame. Pareho tayong may mali and we can't continue blaming each other for that. May anak na tayo.. We need to get this passed us para kay Rodjan."

Tumango tango ito. "Yeah.. you're right."

"So friends?" Aniya na inilahad ang isang palad.

Ilang segundo muna itong tumitig sa kanya at sa palad niyang nakalahad sa harap nito. He looked like he wanted to say something but thought otherwise. Muli siya nitong tinitigan at saka nagpakawala ng isang pilit na ngiti.

"Of course. Friends." He said as he grasped her palm.