my thoughts

to: another fucking guy (12/?/18)

this guy

he's different

i've known him for quite some time, but i just recently realized that i loved... *clears throat*
liked him

i think it was when he first hugged me
there was a warmth about him that i could not shake
every time he touches me i feel...
i don't know, like all the world is right

the day after that i was in practice and i was (fake) fighting this one kid who was on the floor
all of a sudden he comes up behind me and gently picks me up off of him
he held me a bit longer after that,
pretending he was holding me back
both arms wrapped around me
it was like his embrace was made for me

he's everything i'd ever want him to be
he's in the closet (like moi)
but he has a girlfriend
he says "i love you" to her
and it hurts every time i hear it
he's insecure
and i have no idea why
if only he could see what i see..
i don't know,
but what i do know?

this feeling
it's all too familiar.

damn it