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Chapter 5

°°°°°°°°°°warning depression, self harm, read with caution,°°°°°°°°

°°°°°Clay's POV°°°°

When I wake up, I look over to see fluffy mint hair all in my face. I want to touch it, I have a bit of a hair fetish, I love playing with hair and his looks so softtttt. I can't help it, I slowly start to play with it, and oh my lordy it's so fluffy. I keep playing with,not realizing that he has woken up.

*giggle*

I freeze, no no no nooooo pleaseee,
I slowly look up to see his eyes staring into mine. I jump "AHHHHHHHHH!¡." I fly off the couch and fall to the floor. He laughs, "Yah its not funny, why didn't you tell me you were up?¿"
"And miss out on someone playing with my AMazingggg hair?¿ No thanks" he says with a laugh. I just roll my eyes and get off the floor, heading to the kitchen to grab a bowl for some cereal. Its wierd how comfortable I am here. I havnt been home in a few days and I really need to go back to my house, my kitty has been missing my attention though I have gone home to feed her everyday.

As I fix my bowl Yoongi comes in and fixes himself some and sits beside me.
We sit in comfortable silence, just the sound of us munching on cereal can be heard. I could get used to this.
I look out the window as I watch the sun slowly rise, i feel like I'm supposed to be doing something........ OH SHIT

I jump up and grab my jacket off the back of the chair, running to the door trying to slip on my converse and open the door at the same time, Yoongi comes around the corner
"Clary?!¡¿ what is everything ok?!¡¿" he says sounding worried, I look over at him "Yea I'm just bout to be late for work" I say going over and grabbing my apartment keys "ohh" he says.
I say bye and run out his apartment taking 2 steps at a time because I don't trust the elevator, I run into my house change clothes and take a quick shower and brush my teeth. I feed my kitty, buttercup, and head out the door, locking it on my way out. As I head to work I check the time and see I have 5mins, i walk a little faster and finally make it. Jin looks over at me and smiles a knowing smile, "Soooo how was your weekend with Yoongi ?¿"

<time skip>

I look over at the clock and see its almost time to close, thank goodness, today was especially busy. I look down at my phone and see a text from Yoongi (they had exchanged numbers last night)

Yoongi

Hey the guys just got here so I'm helping them set up in there apartment I wont be home at all till morning, txt me and let me know if you'd like to meet up with us later and meet the guys

Clary

Yea sure idc let me know when and wut time, but I have work tomorrow till 3 yall look so adorableee😂🤩

Yoongi

Yahh no not me,😋 how bout we go to Wendy's round 6ish for supp

er after ur done working, if ur not too tired that is🤨

Clary

Haha I'm not too tired, sounds like a plan🤪 and sureee

I set my phone down, smiling to myself I am bout to meet BTS, I, Clary, am about TO MEET BTS, oh shit I'm bout to meet BTS. I'm not ready, there my favorite group and I'm bout to meet them and I cant what should I wear should I go casual or what oh shit I'm freaking out, cool down Clary you'll find out when that day comes. I breathe and look around, realizing it's time to close.

As I walk home I start to think about things, things I wish I wouldn't think about. It never ends good. I put my head buds end and play Panic At The Disco hoping it'll drown out my thoughts, but even PATD cant save me now. I get home feeling alone and depressed, I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror
Ugly fat disgusting whore pig liar bitch you should just kill yourself your own parents didnt want you you worthless slut

"SHUT UP" I yell at the top of my lungs hoping to shut them out, but I can't it's not working, nothing does. I grab the razor blade off the counter and pull my sleeves up, I carelessly cut across my wrist beside the other cuts, not noticing the blood dripping on the floor. I cut 5 ragged cuts and then grab a tissue to clean the blood off my wrist and off the floor. I flush the tissue down the toilet and go to my room, I dont cry, I haven't cried since my parents left. I just sit there feeling the depression slowly sink in until I feel I am nothing but a vessel of it. Just when I feel as though I am about to drown, I hear my phone buzz and see it's a text from Yoongi. The lonely aching feeling leaves and I'm filled with a wierd sense of calmness and joy. I look at the text

Yoongi

Hey Clary, wyd?¿ I just got done helping them set up but I'm not as good as u are, r we still good for tomorrow?¿ 🙃

I smile to myself.

Clary

Yea were still good I'm not gonna bail chill, I just got home hbu short stuff

Yoongi

SHORT STUFF!?¡¿ I WILL BEAT UR ASS UP UR SHORT 🤬 IM TALLER THAN U

Clary

only by a little 😑 I still gonna call u short tho lol lol 😂😋

Yoongi

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄yahh I'm swag u cant call me short

Yoongi changed to Mr.Swag🤬

Clary

Yea ok Mr.swag 😂😂

Mr.Swag🤬

Ish I cant believe u I'm going to sleep night

Clary

Night Yoongi

I set my phone down and get ready for bed. When I finally lay down, with my music playing softly, I start to think again, but this time I'm actually happy. I take this as a good sign, and with bts 'singing me' to sleep, I close my eyes and fall into another dream less dream.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Ok so what do yall think, sorry about the sad chapter buttttttt it gets better so no need to fear hope yall enjoyed it dont forget to like!¡ thx

Ohh appreciation note

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