Whispers | yoonmin.

i'll love you;

Most people get sick of their daily routine, it bores them; tires them out. But not Min Yoongi. His routine was something he would never ever get tired of doing. Why you may ask? It was because in those few minutes of silence after the sun had long set that he could finally utter the words he had been holding in the whole day. He could let the boy he loved, know just how beautiful he truly was.
Even if he would never hear it.

.

"I saw you read the hate comments, thousands of them. I saw your tears fall, and how they kept falling. I wanted to help you wipe them away. The comments don't mean anything; the haters have no idea what they are saying. They're just jealous of you Minnie, who wouldn't be? You're everything they are not - talented, beautiful, kind and so much more. I wish that I could delete those comments; that I could protect you from all things bad. If I could, I'd tell you how amazing you are, every day. Maybe one day.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you do it again today. You stood there, just staring at your reflection. I could see the hatred and anger building up in your eyes. I could read your thoughts across your frown. It hurt me so much; I just wanted to run to you. I wanted to hold you in my arms and tell you how beautiful you are to me. How perfect you are in every possible way. Maybe one day.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you when I left the studio at 3 in the morning. Why were you still there? I mean, I know why you were there, but why ? You've already perfected the routine. I'm the one that needs to practice more, not you. It hurts when you push yourself this much. I get scared. It makes me think of all the times when you went too far. I doubt I can ever get those images out of my mind. Please go easy on yourself Minnie; I don't want you to fade away again.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you refuse dinner again. You told Jin-hyung that you've eaten. But I know that it's a lie. I didn't see you eat anything all day. Is it getting bad again? I hope you tell someone, anyone. I don't want you to be alone with the bad thoughts. I wish I could chase the thoughts away. I wish I could replace it with words that make you smile. Maybe one day.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you fall today. But it wasn't your fault. Please don't be so hard on yourself. The stage was slippery from the rain. I told management we should not perform because of the weather, but they didn't listen. The rain caused you to fall, but you still carried on and delivered a perfect performance Minnie, even though you were hurting so badly. Please believe me. Please believe me when I say it isn't your fault, that ARMYs are not angry at you; that the members do not hate you for it. You didn't fail us, you could never.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

.

"I saw the blades today. I came in because you were taking too long. I'm sorry, I should have knocked. All the blood, all the tears; I didn't know what to do Minnie. I was petrified. I wanted to scold you, to ask you how you could do this to your beautiful body? But I also wanted to hold you in my arms and chase the bad thoughts away. But if I'm being honest, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I love you so much and I want to help you so badly but I don't know how. I have so much love for you, but I have no idea what to do with it. I so badly want you to be happy. I want you to be okay again. I just wish I knew how.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I'm sorry Minnie. I didn't know they would put you under constant surveillance. I didn't know they would make Jin-hyung accompany you for every meal. I didn't know they would make Hobi accompany you for every dance practice you went to. I didn't know they would make Tae bunk with you every night. I didn't know they would take away your phone, your freedom. I didn't want to tell them, believe me. But I didn't know what to do. I couldn't watch you fade away again. I don't know what else to do to help you. Please don't hate me. I just want you to be okay again. But if hating me is what it takes for you to get better, I'll gladly take it. I'll let you hate me. Please just be okay, we need you to be okay. I need you to be okay.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you wait until everyone was asleep before going to the bathroom. You closed the door and then I heard it; sounds that would never leave my mind. Sobs that I wanted to erase for good. I wanted to follow you. To hold your hand and stroke your back. I wanted to tell you that everything will be okay, and that you are not alone. That you'll always have me. Maybe one day.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you laugh today, but it didn't reach your eyes; not like it used to. They look emptier lately. Oh how I wish I could fill your eyes with all the stars in the galaxy. Maybe one day.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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"I saw you sway on your feet during rehearsal today. Before anyone could panic, you told them you were just feeling sleepy. They brushed it off, but I could see through your lie. Everyone thinks you are getting better, but I know you just became better at hiding it from them. You can fool everyone, but not me. I know you too well. I'm going to try harder Minnie, I'm going to do everything I can to help you. Before it's too late.

Goodnight Minnie, sweet dreams."

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I felt it today, your ribs; your bones; your cold lifeless body. I felt my whole world feel so incredibly tiny in my arms. My heart dropped when you hit the ground. Everyone was running to you, but I was stuck, frozen to the ground. I just stood there, terrified of what happened; of what was going to happen. And then I felt myself rush forward to hold you. I held onto you and I never wanted to let go. I wanted to hold you forever. I just kept praying; praying that I wasn't too late.