Kissing Troyler

Part 7

Troye:

I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to know what Tyler was thinking.

When I reached the bathroom I leaned against the bathtub and cried. As each tear fell, my brain came up with one more reason as to why Tyler would hate me. After what felt like hours I was able to stand and look at myself in the mirror.

"Why are you so stupid? Of corse Tyler wouldn't like you. No one did. Don't you remember the last time you let yourself go?"

As my thoughts turned for worse I gently lifted my shirt. Revealing the years of scars and bruises that jumpers and tee shirts were able to cover.

As I traced my hands over the indents and soft patches I heard a gentle knock on the door. "Troye?" Tyler's voice was barley audible. From the background noise I could tell the game was still continuing without us. I sniffled and desperately splashed water on my face to hide the tears. But it was no use. "Tyler please just go. I shouldn't have said anything. It was all just a mistake. Please just go back to the others before they notice that we aren't there anymore."

"Troye, please can we just---"

"Tyler, PLEASE." I yell softly, trying my best to control my emotions. Anger was slowly creeping in. Not anger at Tyler, I could never be angry with him. But anger at myself- how could I think this was anything more just a friendship. And now I have ruined that too.

I can hear the door handle start to rattle. Gesshh this boy is persistent, can't he tell I don't want him here. I don't want him to see me. Not like this.

Tyler: (rewind ten minutes)

"Really Zoe your going to make me get up?" I chuckle. Not even Nutella can make Troye get up when he is tired. "You will have to do" Troye says causally. Great just what I want- thanks Troye- you really know how to make me feel wanted.

This secret better be a good one or I'm gonna make this boy pay. Slowly he leans in and I can feel my breath hitch. All I want to do at this moment is lean and press my lips to his.

He moves towards me ear and I can feel his perfect hair brush against my neck. Slowly I feel like this is a dare directed towards me- "see how long you can resist the hottest boy in the room as he moves closer to you".

I can feel his hot breath tickling my ear, practically asking for permission to start talking. "By the way, thanks for the gum." Lost in the moment it took me a second to realize what was just said. First this seemed like a joke. But then realization hit as that same raspy whisper was identical to my mystery kisser. Troye was my mystery kisser. I was in complete shock. I couldn't tear my eyes away from their current position and my eyes were widened.

A sheer joy floods my body. I couldn't contain my shock as everyone looks around at me, wondering curiously what Troye could have said to make my jaw drop.

Before I realize it, Troye has bounced up, running for comfort in the bathroom. I should go talk to him. He is so young and is probably confused- trying to deal with so many different emotions.

I excuse myself from the game as Zoe gives me a sideways wink like she knew all along.

I walk up to the bathroom door, taking in a deep breath. I keep my voice steady so I don't scare him- that's the last thing I want to do. I of all people know coming out is a big change in ones life. Some people have a great support system, and others don't. Unfortunate I knew a little of both- and I don't want Troye to have to experience any of that. I wanted to be there for him- let him know that I support him, and will always support him. I just hope he knows that he can trust me.

Closing my eyes and focusing on what I want to say, I step closer to the door.

'Troye?'

I can hear him on the other side trying to compose himself just like I am. He mumbles some words, telling me to disappear. They only hurt, I wish he knew I only want to help.

Desperately I ask again "Troye, can we please just---." Before I could finish he cut me off. Practically begging me know to leave him alone, but I refuse.

I have seen too many people try to go through this alone. Continually suppressing themselves to such a dark place that I refused to let Troye ever reach. I'm only imagining the worse. The image of tears coming from Troyes crystal blue eyes is enough of a reason to break down the door. I begin to rattle the door handle, hoping Troye would take the hint- I'm not leaving. I'm here to stay.

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Troye:

After a couple seconds to compose myself I decide it's better to just let Tyler in than alert the whole group that something is wrong. I slowly make my way over to the door and unlock it- but don't open the door. Just as I expected, the second the door unlocked Tyler came bargaining in.

But what came next I could not have predicted. Instead of bombarding me with questions and demanding and explanation for my secrets I was instantly embraced in a hug. Without even realizing it- this was just what I needed. Relaxing into his soft tee shirt I latched my hands around his neck and as if he knew exactly what I was saying without words he held me tighter.

I swallowed back the tears that I could feel brimming in my eyes. After a couple seconds, Tyler unlatched my hands from his neck and meet my eyes with a look of love and protection. His voice was soft as he spoke, "let's get out of here."

My eyes darted towards the living room, "but--."

"Don't worry about them. I can take care of it" he reassured me.

I'm not sure why- but I trusted him.

Authors Note

Sorry this is a short chapter- hopefully more to come. Comment below what you would like to see :) thanks!