Thoughts For Another Lifetime

Loneliness

I often sit alone

Not because there aren't others around me;
But for I crave the silent atmosphere.

Without words, and people-
there's no second guessing myself for everything I do.

There's no crying simply because I felt ignored;
It's quiet, peaceful.

But then the loneliness comes

It always seems to find me
Searching every dark corner, every place I hide.

Feeling worthless;
Like no one will ever care
Yet wanting that to all be nonsense

I reach out to people in these moments, then get hysterical when they don't respond.

It's not their fault I'm lonely

The blame has to go somewhere though; Not on me surely.
Am I at fault for being lonely?

Do I make my loved ones leave instead of facing my fears?
Unable to cope with abandonment

Hatred fills me to the brim when I think about how selfish I am.
Nothing but selfish, a weak soul.

But that's what I am

After trying so hard to change, I've given up. My life has been chosen for me due to my inability.

I guess this is what I will be

Lonely