Never Go To Neverland

Hopeless

I feel...okay. Okay, maybe not completely okay, but I'm not dead. I think that in itself is an achievement. My neck feels sore and my body is stiff. Rubbing my neck, everything came back in a flash. Sitting up straight I looked around in panic. I was in a...hut? Focusing on my anything but the mark I knew was on my neck, I thought about what happened to me the night before. Wait, was it the night before? It could have been days before!
My body felt weird. I could feel the power and pain still at rest in my body, but it was different. Instead of a surge of power, I felt a residue. A hum vibrating throughout my body. Whatever..magic...I felt wasn't there anymore. Just a shadow of what I once felt. Still, it made my hands shake and my head pulse.
I felt empty and cold in my soul. Rubbing my shoulder, I noticed a cuff on my wrist. "What the hell?" I muttered to myself. I tried to pry it off my wrist but it didn't budge. Sighing I gave up.
Curling up in the bed I placed my head in between my knees and slowly breathed in and out. All I could think about was the Dreamshade. How close I was to being able to leave. To leave this place. I wanted to cry. Putting my head up I forced the lump in my throat to retreat and pushed my shaky body up. I was determined not to cry, not to show any weakness, if I could help it.
Walking toward the door I pushed it open. Stepping out I instantly felt a cold knife be placed at my throat as my hands were pinned behind my back.
"Pan told us to be careful around you. And not to hesitate." Said a familiar voice.
"Hello Felix. You missed me I assume?" I said calmly. I strangely didn't feel any fear anymore. Just annoyed. He could hurt me but it didn't seem to scare me anymore.
"Still have a mouth on you, I see." Felix replied.
"Still follow Pan like a dog too, I noticed." I replied.
Felix chuckled and turned me around to face him. Up close I noticed he had a scar down his face.
"Pan is our hero. He keeps us safe and makes us strong." He said.
Looking at him, I realized just how much he believed this to be true. How much he believed in Petter Pan. How he is willing to lay down his life for Pan, all he has to do is away the word. I felt hopeless and frankly, I was beginning to feel sorry for Felix. For all the Lost Boys here. They were just helpless pawns in Pans games, only here to serve as amusement.
"I'm sorry..." I softly say, my heart aching at this newfound discovery.
Felix looks momentarily confused, before gaining a grip on his emotions.
"I wish Pan never found you, I wish he never found me, I wish he never existed..." I trail off uncertain at the look for rage pass Felix's face.
"You will learn to respect Pan and to be grateful for all he's done for you." He snarled.
"Whatever you say..." I mumble. "But let me tell you this. I won't stop looking for a way off this island. I will find a way to get back home." I spoke clearly and with power, successfully keeping any fear out of my voice.
He surprised me with a short laugh. "This is Pans island and his game. There is no way you will win."
I leaned forward so my nose was barely two inches apart from Felix's. He stiffened his stance and gripped his knife harder, holding it steady.
He was afraid of me. Good.
"Then I will die trying. Taking every goddamn Lost Boy with me, if it's the last thing I do."
I watched his expression morph into anger.
"After all, Peter Pan always knows where to find more of you."