Sanders Sides One Shots

Who Knew

This is based on the song Who Knew by Pink.
⚠️ Warning: This is pretty damn angsty⚠️

Roman's POV

It had been a normal day. We'd all, with the exception of Virgil, popped up to see Thomas. Only, something didn't seem right with him. Well, that was a complete understatement. When Logan, Patton and I arrived, Thomas was on the ground having one of the worst panic attacks I'd ever seen. All I could do was watch in shock as Patton tried desperately to calm him down whilst Logan attempted to call Joan or Talyn. Panic surged through my blood and my heartbeat rapidly increased. If Thomas was this bad, I could only hypothesise about Virgil's condition. You see, Thomas is emotionally linked up to all of us. Whoever has the strongest emotion in his head is how he feels. That must've meant that the closed off side was suffering so I needed to get to him and help. Quickly, I sunk back down and searched for Virgil in Thomas's mind.

"Virgil! Where are you?!" I yelled out. I got no response. I rushed towards his room and knocked frantically. Repeatedly, I called out to him but he never responded. Over time, my attempts weakened and my fist landed against the door once more before I slid down to my knees and gave up. I wanted to cry. I wanted to barge in. I wanted to scream. I wanted to get Patton. But I did none of those things. Perhaps that was my biggest regret. I did nothing. I just sat there like an idiot. I sat there hoping and praying that the youngest side would open the door and greet me.

I had no idea how much time had passed but soon enough, the other two joined me outside Virgil's room. I slowly got up. Logan looked at me expectantly, but I just shook my head. I knew what he was inquiring. He was wondering if I had any luck with Anxiety. Boy, I wish I had gotten through to him. Before anything else could occur, Patton stepped forward with a concerned expression. He brought his hand up and lightly knocked on the door.

"Virgil, kiddo, it's Patton. You doing okay in there?" The fatherly side called out tenderly. The three of us waited in anticipation. Nothing happened. Patton's gentle, loving approach had failed. He looked devastated. None of us liked it when Virgil closed himself off from us but Patton took it especially hard. He really cared for Virgil as if he was actually his son.

"I hate to say it but we might have to get him for help." Logan stated matter-of-factly as he gestured to the dark door in the corner. My eyes widened. Logan really thought he would be able to help? He was supposed to be the smart one!

"How's he going to help?" Patton questioned with a skeptical expression.

"He can break down the door. He is certainly strong enough to complete that task." Logan replied with a monotone voice.

"Yeah but..." I trailed off nervously. The logical side sighed and ran a quick hand through his hair.

"I know we don't like going to him for any reason as he can be a bit... overwhelming... but we have no choice." explained Logan. I took a shaky breath and nodded. There was no other choice. We had to ask him. We had to ask Sleep.
(AN: before anyone gets annoyed at me, I am fully aware that Sleep isn't a side. I'm just saying he hangs out in the same space as the sides do for this particular one shot. Thanks)

I walked over and pushed the murky coloured door open. Instantly, I was greeted by Sleep, who was lounging on a chair drinking a latte. He peered over his sunglasses with bored eyes, which contrasted the growing smirk on his face.

"What do you want?"

"Long story short, please could you break down Virgil's door?" I asked. Sleep stood up and walked over so he was face to face with me.

"Can't do it yourself?" He replied in a sarcastic, taunting manner. I clenched my fist and took a breath. I had to stay calm.

"Will you do it or not? We're kinda in a hurry." I snapped. He chuckled slightly.

"Sure whatever, but you owe me one." Sleep responded. He shoved past me and paced over to Virgil's door. I ran after him and arrived just after he did.

"Um Virgil, last chance or Sleep will break down your door." Patton said, panicked. Once again, nothing happened. Simultaneously, Logan, Patton and I took a step back and Sleep barged straight through the door. Nonchalantly, he got up and walked away. He really couldn't care less about anything. On the other hand, Patton ran straight in. Logan and I slowly followed him in. There was no sign of Virgil anywhere.

"Something isn't right." Logan said quietly. As soon as he said it, something clicked. It wasn't right. The whole atmosphere was different to the last time we were there. There was no rush of anxiety. There was no darkness. Instead, everything was bland. Lifeless. Something really wasn't-

"OH MY GOD!"

My attention snapped to the sound. Before Logan or I could even take a step, Patton ran out screaming and hyperventilating. He ran straight into Logan. The logical side hugged Patton closely and he furrowed his eyebrows in worry. Meanwhile, I broke away from the other two and went into the walk-in wardrobe Patton had just run out of. When I walked in, I couldn't help what I did. I screamed. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I fell down onto my knees.

Inside that wardrobe, I found Virgil's cold lifeless body dangling from the ceiling. It was worse than anything I'd ever seen. He was even paler than he usually was, his wrists were covered in deep, fresh cuts. And I sobbed like there was no tomorrow. My biggest regret. I just sat outside his room for what could've been hours. If I'd have just done something, I could've saved him...

*—time skip (1 week later)—*

Nobody in Thomas's mind had spoken a word in the past week. None of us had the words to say. We didn't even eat together. It just hurt too much to have everyone sat at the table together with a single empty chair that should've still been occupied.

I couldn't eat anyway. I felt too sick in my stomach.

I couldn't sleep either. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that vivid, morbid image. The image of the one I loved. The image of the one I didn't save.

So I just stayed awake a night. I sat staring at the wall aimlessly. I laid awake when the others believed I was sleeping.

Patton didn't know that I knew. He didn't know that I could hear him go through to Virgil's room at night. He didn't know that I could see some of Virgil's favourite things in his room through the crack in his doorway. He didn't know that I knew he wasn't fine even though he was trying so hard to mask it.

Logan didn't know that I knew. He didn't know that I could hear him pacing back and forth every night. He didn't know I could hear him throwing things in anger at the world. He didn't know that I could hear him crying harder than anyone else. He didn't know that I knew he was in  so pain despite everything he said.

But one thing I had for certain was me. None of the others knew about me. They didn't know that I threw up whatever I ate. They didn't know that I was terrified of leaving my bedroom. They didn't know that I spent every minute of every day blaming myself for what happened. They didn't know a thing.

Anxiously, I exited my bedroom and stepped through into the kitchen. I needed a drink. I went over to the fridge and pulled out some orange juice and drank it. As I turned to place the glass in the sink, a sudden dizziness washed over me and I collapsed down. The glass smashed and sliced my hand open. I lacked any motivation to get up so I just laid there as the small cut on my hand bled a little. Eventually, two shadows looked over me. I ignored them completely. I didn't care anymore. I was pulled up into a sitting position and the two sat beside me.

All of us just stared forward in depressing silence. We had no clue what to say. We had no clue how to react still. It all felt so surreal. It had already been a week but it felt like it had merely been an hour. It was all so fresh in my mind. This was the first time I had even properly seen Patton and Logan since it all happened and yet it wasn't. I wasn't fully acknowledging them. But feeling the presence of another person being there made me lose control. I had no idea what to say so I cried again. Before I knew it, all of us were.

We all cried for the friend we had lost. We all cried because we knew nothing would be the same again.