Always | a Julian Casablancas fic

Chapter 1: Prologue

(x-posted to theheartbeatsinacage on tumblr)

They're laying closely together on the ground, just holding each other and starring up at the fading sky. Today was a beautifully ordinary day. From guessing what shapes the clouds looked like, talking and laughing, to doing everything and nothing. Now it's quiet and one of her hands is slowly tracing senseless patterns on his right arm and bicep. When she stops she rests her palm against his heart-- it's beating as fast as hers. She lays her head on his shoulder and sighs. His arms wrap around her, safe and protective, and he kisses her forehead.

This is home. Right here, in the safe and quiet space of each other's arms, they are at home. They haven't known each other for very long, but it's still true.

"I'm scared," she says after a while. His arms tighten slightly.

"Of what?" he asks, but he already knows. He's scared too.

"Of everything. The future. Losing you. Losing us ... " her voice gets quieter as she speaks but he hears her clearly.

She will have to leave him soon. Summer is almost over and she will be going off to Paris to study fashion. He's got plans too-- in a couple of months his band's first record will be coming out. There's already been a lot of buzz surrounding the group and there's talk of a major tour as well. Both are getting ready to live their dreams, but it's all so bittersweet. It doesn't seem like they'll be able to live their dreams together. And it's breaking both of their hearts.

He moves one of his hands up to caress her face. His finger tips are rough from playing guitar, but she likes that. His touch and gaze is tender, she presses her cheek into his warm palm.

"I'll always be yours,"  he whispers.

She smiles a sad sort of smile. "N'awww. You'll forget about me in time. Pretty soon you'll have women throwing themselves at you. You'll get over me." 

His hazel eyes (usually appearing bored and disinterested to most) are now very intense, their gaze is powerful and sincere. "No," he says, no longer whispering. "You will always have a part of me. I love you now. I'll love you always."

It's rare for him to say things like that. He's more of the 'actions speak louder than words' type. It's in the little things with him, and she loves that about him, but there is no way to describe how hearing him say those words means to her. It feels like her heart is stretching-- as though it's about to burst out from her body. His love makes her feel invincible, like she can do anything.

"I love you so much," she's still whispering.

He smiles (such a beautiful smile, it makes her happy and ache all at the same time) and pulls her even closer to him. "I know," he says while breathing in her scent.

Leaving is going to be so painful. She doesn't know how she's going to be able to do it. He'd rather not think about it either. For now they're here, together, and they love each other. It's enough.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Note: This story has been posted without a beta reader's help, so I apologize for mistakes I may have made here. Also, it's been a million years since I've written anything. This is not only my first JC fanfic but it's also the first time I've ever shared any of my stories publicly. So please, be gentle with me ... lol. I don't know if I'll continue this story or not. I want to (I've got lots of ideas) but it all depends on whither I get positive feedback or not. So if you actually read this and enjoyed it, then please leave me some comments or whatever. Thank you. <3