Goner

I Want To Be Known By You

In the movies, when a person wakes up, they wake quickly, snapping to attention, eyes flying open in surprise. They sit up immediately, alert as if they had never been asleep at all.

This was not the case.

Tyler woke up slowly, every inch of his body aching, eyes heavy and sticky. Slowly, he blinked, and the staticky noise that filled his ears began to fade.

He heard a beeping noise. It was steady, and slow, and loud. His face crinkled into a frown.

After much blinking, he realized where he was. A hospital. The walls were pale, but he wasn't sure if they were blue or white. Machinery lined the walls, and there was a brown armchair next to his bed. It was empty.

A door swung open, and a woman with blonde hair in a ponytail peeked in. "Oh, you're awake. I'll be right back."

Then she was gone.

Gone.

A memory sparked Tyler's brain. It hurt, so he ignored it.

The door was open again. A man with curly brown hair and a doctor's uniform walked in, holding a very official looking clipboard.

"Hello Tyler," he said. "I'm Dr. Toro. Do you remember what happened?"

Tyler opened his mouth to respond and found something was covering it. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Ah yes, I'm sorry," Dr. Toro chuckled, removing the oxygen mask. "That was silly of me. Do you remember, Tyler?"

"Somethin... somethin bad." Tyler swallowed. "I don't think I want to remember."

"That's probably for the best," Dr. Toro grimaced. "But unfortunately I have to tell you." He sat down on the brown chair and sighed. "Tyler, you tried to kill yourself."

The brunet hummed. "And I failed?"

"Your friend Josh called the ambulance," the man stated. "If it wasn't for him, you would not be here."

Tyler ignored the memories rushing back. "Josh? What happened to him?"

Dr. Toro fiddled with his pen. "Perhaps this is not the best time."

"I need to know where he his," Tyler pleaded. "He needs to know I'm alright."

The older man sighed, steeling himself. "Josh... his body washed up in the Scioto River. He killed himself."

The staticky sound was back. Tyler blinked. He didn't think he could be more broken than he was. He was wrong. "I... killed him?"

"No Tyler," Dr. Toro said, sounding slightly condescending. "He killed himself. His wrists were slit. He jumped off a bridge."

"I killed him," Tyler said, voice eerily calm. "If I hadn't... he'd still be alive. I killed Josh, I killed my best friend."

"This was not your fault," Dr. Toro soothed. "You need to remember that." He stood, clutching his clipboard. "I'll give you some time alone."

Tyler blinked, and he was gone.

Someone else was in his place.

"Oh," Tyler laughed. "It was a joke."

"Of course it was," Josh smiled. "Did you really think I would leave you all alone?"

"I suppose that was silly of me," Tyler chuckled, soft hands holding Josh's rough ones. "I think I'm going to write a song about this."

"So I guess you got inspired after all." Josh sat in the brown chair. "What's the song called?"

"Goner."

Two pairs of chocolate brown eyes flickered to the bandages on Tyler's left wrist.

"I'm glad you're okay Joshie," Tyler smiled.

"And I'm glad you're okay," Josh grinned, while the doctors watched Tyler speak to empty air. "I'm glad we're both goners."

Goners," Tyler agreed, and fell into sleep.