Goner

Somebody Catch My Breath

"TYLER!" Josh screamed, as his best friend slumped, limp in his arms. An abulance pulled up, red and blue lights flashing. Sirens wailing.

"TYLER!" Josh screamed again, shaking his friend, desperately hoping his eyes would flutter open. "TYLER NO!"

His voice was hoarse, and tears flowed down his cheeks as he choked, trying to breathe through the sobs. "TYLER!"

He clutched his friend tightly as a man and a woman ran up, dressed in the greenish yellow and silver uniforms of paramedics.

As they arrived, their hopeful expressions fell.

"I'm sorry son," the man said. "But we need you to let him go."

"No," Josh sobbed. "No, you have to help him. Tyler, you have to help him! He's hurt!"

"I'm sorry," the woman said softly, crouching next to him. "We can't. He's gone."

"No," Josh sobbed. "You don't understand. He fell of a building, you got to help him. His arms—"

"Can you let go of him please? Can you do that for me?"

"Will you help him?" Josh sobbed, still holding onto the brunette tightly. "Will you help Tyler?"

"We'll help him," The man said quietly. "But we can't if you don't let go."

Josh loosened his hold, then finally let him go, gently. As Tyler's hand fell limp on the asphalt, a small metal object fell from his hand. Josh grabbed it before the paramedics noticed.

"Why aren't you helping him?" Josh whimpered after a moment of the two simply looking at Tyler. "He needs help."

"Sarah?" The woman called to the amulance. "Can we get this man here some Alodorm?"

After a moment, a woman with wavy dark brown hair hurried over, holding a syringe.

Relief spread through Josh, but only for a split second, as the woman quickly hurried over to him.

"Tyler doesn't have any allergies."

"I know honey," she soothed. "This is for you."

"What?" he questioned, taking a step back. "Why? I'm fine."

"It's a sedative," she explained calmly. "You're going to have an anxiety attack if this keeps up."

"If what keeps up?" Josh asked, shaking off the hand she put on his arm. "Is Tyler going to be okay?"

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "He's gone. He's in a better place now."

"What?" Josh whispered, his eyes stretched wide. "Tyler... he's... dead?"

"I'm sorry."

"No," Josh choked. "No, no no, this is all wrong. This is my fault."

"It's not your fault sweetie," Sarah soothed. "You did everthing right. It just couldn't be helped."

"NO!" Josh screamed, rushing away from her touch. "TYLER!"

"It's okay!" Sarah yelped, holding out her arms to calm him. She held him back as he tried to rush at his best friend. His best friend, who used to write songs, and laugh and hold Josh when he was sad. His best friend who's smile could light up a whole room. His best friend who helped him dye his hair red for the first time.

His best friend.

Lying on the asphalt.

Dead.

"TYLER!" Josh screamed, aware of nothing. His vision was dark. He felt a prick in his arm, and shoved Sarah off him. "NO! TYLER!" he yanked the needle out, throwing it onto the ground and shattering it. The liquid inside mixed with Tyler's blood.

Sobs racked his chest so he couldn't speak. The lump in his throat seemed to suffocate him.

"TYLER!"

It was too much. It was all too much. The noises, the movements. His arm hurt. His chest hurt. He couldn't breathe.

He blinked, and he was standing on a bridge.

He didn't remember running away. He didn't remember the way his sneakers squeaked on the ground, damp with a sticky redness that had come from his friend's head.

His hands were covered with it.

All the way to his elbow, his arms were coated with blood. His jeans too. He tried to wipe it off, but it clung to his skin. Josh knew it would for the rest of his life.

Something was in his hand. A small, thin piece of metal. It was coated with blood.

Tears dripped from Josh's chin. They left salty tracks down his cheeks that seemed to burn. They burnt his arms too. His arms hurt a lot.

Oh.

He let his fingers trace marks down the slices in his arms. His arms were as red as his hair, which hung limply in his broken chocolate eyes.

As his head began to fill with static, and his chest was stuffed with cotton, he let himself fall sideways. And he kept falling. And falling. And falling.

Josh remembered hitting the water.

Then his world was dark.