Loving Her Ways

Chapter 4

Chapter 4 | Dessert

After that morning, I finally convinced Eros to leave. We conversed, and he seemed understanding about giving me space—the opposite of how he had acted the previous night. Then, things got weird because I never heard from him again. There were no texts, calls, or updates for the next few days, which was odd considering how chatty he was the last time he was here.

I couldn't help but smile to myself. Was this his best attempt at trying to deceive me? It was almost comical how transparent he was in his deceitful tactics. There was a tinge of disappointment in realizing he thought he could easily fool me.

For me, relationships are like background noise—merely distractions from what truly matters. I date and play with it boys, snagging a bit of their spotlight for myself. Other girls are all about that deep, "he's the one" kind of talk like their life's a rom-com. Me? I can't relate. I've never caught those feelings.

Harry, my most recent fling before Eros, was a walking, talking checklist of perfection. He had this knack for noticing the tiny details, boasted a brain that actually worked, and had his life sorted enough to live on his own–charming indeed. Playing with him was a blast until I caught him making out with the former volleyball girls' captain.

My reaction was as flat as soda left open overnight. There was no single tear. I felt absolutely nothing and kicked him to the curb faster than last season's fashion. The disappointment wasn't a shock; it was more like waiting for a delayed train. You know it's coming; it's just a matter of when.

Sa huling taon ko sa senior high, napagpasyahang kong huwag na muling pumasok sa relasyon o makipagkilala dahil nakakapagod at nakakasawa na. Iyon ang plano ko hanggang sa lumapit sa akin si Eros para idamay ako sa kalokohang ito. Ilang beses ko siyang tinanggihan pero nainis na lang ako sa kanyang pamimilit kaya't pinagbigyan ko na.

Initially, I assumed it would be the usual drill—no need for extra effort on my part. However, I wouldn't be wrestling with these second thoughts if he were just any guy showing interest.

Monday came, and I went to school with Mia. Tandang tanda ko ang schedule ng basketball team tuwing may practice dahil sa mga araw na iyon lang ako hindi nagugulo ni Eros. I quietly made my way to the senior high school building. A few greeted and teased me because they allegedly saw Eros earlier. Nang pumasok ako sa aming room, nandoon na si Vivien na tambak ng mga binabasang sulatin.

"You're reviewing for what again?" I asked.

"Entrance exam."

I nodded even when her attention was on the book she was reading.

"Saan ka magta-try?"

"My father wants me in UP, and my mom suggests Ateneo..."

"But where do you want?"

Vivien turned to me. "UST sana."

I nodded. We had the same choice. "I want you to pass the three entrance exams and choose UST."

She chuckled. "I believe I can't do that. If ever na makapasa ako sa UP, my father would push me there. Ang hirap humindi sa magulang."

I was silenced because something had crossed my mind. Tito Niko and Tita Rhea never pushed me in anything I didn't like. They would always ask me about my plans. Hindi nila ako pinangungunahan at hindi rin sila mahigpit sa akin, sobrang layo sa kung paano nila tratuhin si Mia. My younger self thought they were less concerned when it came to me. Ngayon ay tila ba may yumakap sa aking puso.

Perhaps my parents didn't aim to push me into their mold. Maybe they hoped I'd find my path and be my own person. Yet, I couldn't shake off my suspicions. Tito Niko, after all, was incredibly persuasive.