Lying low in closed doors, petrified to be seen for the visible scars that was once concealed. How ironic—the flawless appearance was just by someone else's judgement.
- CTHRNPNGLNN
Kabanata 1
"Phoebe's with me." I said.
"I'm sure she can handle herself." he said boyishly.
"Silly! I'm the one who brought her here so, I'm the one who's in charge for her safety." I said with finality.
"Sus, ganun ba yun?" aniya habang nakabusangot at marahas na ginulo ang kaniyang buhok.
"Unless, ihahatid mo kami pareho." sabi ko.
"I will only exort effort to you, I forbid the others. " he growled.
I was taken a back to what he just said. It's no big deal! He's just gonna fetch my friend, that's all. But, is it bad that l like the way he posessed me?
We stare at each other's eyes. I looked away for just a mere second. Intimidated by his striking and intense eyes.
Without thinking I extended my hand.
Willing to be tooked to who's arm it precisedly belongs.
__
It's been a month since I last saw Jaron. I never complained. He deserves a break to everything his encountering.
Our last met scenario striked my mind like a thunderbolt. His smiles. His words. His posessiveness. All of them were real.
Everything's fine in contrary. In distress, showing it's routine self. Coated feelings; evolving to love one's end.
I never knew that was the day his grandmother died. The only parent he had when he was a little. I, Kokoy and his passion are the rest he still have.
Minsan ko na din naisip na baka wala talagang balak ipaalam saakin ni Jaron ang importanteng bagay na 'yon at iwanan ako sa ere sa susunod na araw na magdating. Buti nalang at ang kapatid ni Phoebe ay kasamahan sa banda ni Jaron at nang sa ganun ay nakasaganap ako ng impormasyon sa nangyayari sakanya.
"I hope you're doing well." ani ko habang pinagmamasdan ang litrato namin ni Jaron habang magkaakbay.
Napatingin ako sa phone ko ng mag ring ito at bumungad saakin ang pangalan ni Phoebe. Dali-dali ko itong kinuha't sinagot.
"Theille, I saw Jaron. Are you fine in meeting him?" aniya.
"Of course! Text me the address." sabi ko at binaba na 'yong tawag.
Nang makarating ako ay kaagad din akong sinalubong ni Phoebe sa labas.
"Tara na," aniya sabay hila saakin.
Pagkapasok ko ay agad sumalubong saakin ang bulto ni Jaron sa gitna ng stage.
Our eyes met. His eyes intensified. I asked myself. Does he need more space? Does he hate me for coming here and for ruining the day?
I'm overthinking again for goddamn sake!
In contrary to what I have thought that he'd show a cold eyes, hating me for appearing while he's in grief, he smirked.
And through his eyes, there I saw love and gladness.
"You are oxygen
On a late night drive
To clear my head when
Hope has passed me by,"
Eyes closed; mouth parting. Voicing out his feelings and emotions. I closed my eyes trying to connect to what he's gonna make me feel.
The moment I opened my eyes I saw Jaron's gaze is all over mine. My mouth almost parted cause by a sudden shivering.
"You’re everything good
Everything true
When all the world is fading
You’re everything new
You are my eyes
When I can’t see
When all the world is broken
You will always be
Everything good
You are all I have
And all I need
And all I am is what you’ve made of me. And this is why,"
__
A tear escaped from my eyes, just in time as the music stops. Jaron offered me a last glance before he began walking towards the backstage.
I was about to run after him, when a hand holds me back.
"No," Phoebe said.
"Let him be." she continued.
"What are you saying?" I growled.
"The main reason why you came here is just to know if he's alright, right?" aniya.
I confusedly looked at her. "Yes," I said lowly.
"Then, he's fine. He just wanted to see you and he's glad!" she smiled, lighting the situation. But I'm not an idiot.
"Bullshit. A plan it is." I laughed sarcastically.
She bowed her head. "I'm sorry,"
I hesitated to asked but still..
"I–Is he avoiding me?" my voice cracked.
"Not at all! He's just.. Fixing some matters and all that." she said, a bit nervous. I looked at her suspiciously.
"Tell me. What's going on?" I said, all serious.
She sighed, looking at me, unsure.
I pushed until she gave in.
"It's already revealed, Theille." based on how she reacted. I already knew.
"Imposible. Nag-iingat kami..." bulong ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala! Imposible yun dahil hindi ko matanggap. Ilang pagsubok na ang pinagdaanan namin at ito ang kapalit ng lahat ng 'yon? Lahat ng pagtatago ay nawalan lang rin ng halaga.
Nang mapagtanto ang lahat ay sabay-sabay na nagsiagusan ang luha 'ko.
Napailing si Phoebe at hinawakan ang kamay ko.
"Your parents already knew, dati pa. And Jaron keeps that from you. Binilinan nila si Jaron na iwan ka kasi alam nilang hindi mo yun gagawin. So instead of convincing you, they convinced him. At kapag hindi niya yun ginawa, his life would be at state. And Jaron, he wants to keep you and give Kokoy a better life at the same time. His grandmother was killed and he's investigating. You became his strength, Theille. Let him fight his own battle. I'm sure he could handle. " aniya.
"No. I'm also involved here! If he suffers, I am willing to suffer too!"
"Mas lalo lang magiging komplilado ang lahat! Lalo na kapag nakita kayo ng magulang mong magkasama." giit nito.
"Theille, please.." she pleaded.
"Paano daw nalaman?" malamig kong sambit.
"Hindi ko alam." nalulungkot nitong giit.
"Pero sana huwag mong hayaang mainvolve yung sarili mo, Theille. Tandaan mong maraming mata ng trabahador ang magulang mo't nakaantabay sayo." pagpapaalala nito.
Kinalma ko muna ang sarili bago sumagot. "Susubukan ko ngunit hindi ko maipapangako. Pero sa ngayon, gusto ko muna sanang mapag-isa't makapag isip-isip." sabi ko.
Tinanguan naman ako nito, naiintindihan ang ipinahihiwatig ko.
