Shaq's Night Out: The Spookocaust

Scrape and Lick

"What, so you think a supporting character like YOU could do better than me?" Said Spencer. "Not really, I just wanted to tell a story." Said Teneshi. "My story is about a man who comes from a long line of men who all set out to kill a vampire." Said Teneshi. "NANI?" Said Avery, excitedly. "This story is one that was passed down from generation to generation in my family. Because it's something my dad did two weeks ago, and told me yesterday." Said Teneshi. "What did you say your name was? Something Joestar?" Said Avery. Eddie then telepathically told Avery to lay off the jojokes or he would be forced to agitate the gravel. "COUGHS LOUDLY" Yelled Teneshi. "My dad, also named Teneshi, was a vampire killer, who wielded the Vampire Killer. And he had set out to Transylvania to kill the vile blood-succing Dracula. "WHOA WHOA WHOA NOW!" Said Dracula, walking through the door. "DRACULA DON'T SUCC. DRACULA SCRAPE AND LICK! SCRAPE! AND LICK!" "The same can be said for me." Said Lenny. "Hey, nice Halloween costume Doc." Complimented Boris.

"WHAT? DRACULA AIN'T NO DOCTOR." Said Dracula. "What? Whatever, just shut up so I can tell the story." Said Teneshi. "As I was saying, Teneshi, my dad, not to be confused with me or the dead Teneshi- You know, there are a lot of Teneshi's in the canon, what the fucks up with that? Anyways, Teneshi was on his way to Dracula's castle, which was a one-level modern home in the suburbs. "TAKE THAT YOU BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTERS!" Said Teneshi, whipping random squirrels and ants that happened to cross the sidewalk. "KA CHEE!" Yelled Teneshi, claiming a heart from a floating candelabra he whipped. "They really need to upgrade, these could burn someone!" Said Teneshi. "Uh oh, I'm running low on the amount of times I can use my special." Said Teneshi, who noticed a dog walking across the street. "Why's tubby here, staring at me." Thought Toby. "Oh it's happening sweetheart." Said Teneshi, lowering his eyebrows, which were located right above his eyes. "DIE COMMIE!" He said whipping Toby to death like butter. "What the hell! For killing that low level enemy I only got one heart? Lame." Said Teneshi, grabbing Toby's pulsating bloody heart out of his chest, and stuffing it in his wallet. "Hello there sexy." He said, examining his vampire hunter's license. "HEY!" Said a voice. "Finally, a mini-boss!" Said Teneshi, as Bling-Bling Boy approached him. "AHA! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEEN MAKING THAT WHIPPING SOUND! For years I've been waiting for this moment! All my life, I've been tortured by that awful sound! Even doing things as simple as turning around triggers it. Even when I sleep! NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THOSE YEARS OF TORTURE!" Said Bling-Bling Boy, pulling out a Bling-Bling-Blaster which was just a diamond encrusted bazooka. "You stupid kid, you think you can defeat me with a nerf gun? Pfft, what a kid." Said Teneshi. "Step OFF!" Said Bling-Bling, firing from the blaster, completely missing, but blowing up The Yuk Yuk Hut.

"Well I'm out of ammo. So I'll just- PHSYIEQCKUE!" Said Bling-Bling, getting in a mech suit. "HERE I COME I AM CINNAMON!" Said Bling-Bling, firing at Teneshi in an anime battle epic style. Teneshi responded by whipping its glowing red weak spot causing it to blow up. "AHA! NOW FOR PHASE THREE!" Said Bling-Bling. "Uhh, What are you doing?" Asked Teneshi. "Throwing money at my problems, so that you'll go away. What most rich people would do." Said Bling-Bling. "Looks like it's curtains for you." Said Teneshi, pulling out his whip again, he kachowied Bling-Bling Boy until he lost consciousness and then reached his muscular and hairy arm into his chest. "ONE HEART? Ok, this is Unepic." Said Teneshi, before realizing he was at Dracula's doorstep. "Now, to do what I came here to do." Said Teneshi, as he burst in and stabbed Dracula with an onion scented stake. "REEEEEEEE!" Screeched Dracula as he died painfully. "Rest in agony! HAHAHA!" Said Teneshi.

"HEY!" Said Dracula, interrupting the story. "THAT AIN'T HOW IT WENT! IF DRACULA DIED, THEN HOW COME HE STANDIN' RIGHT HERE!" Said Dracula. "Oh yeah, I didn't think of that." Muttered a few voices. Teneshi Jr. then attempted to gamexplain. "Well technically my dad-" "YO DADDY IS A BIG WEENIE! Now.. Dracula'll tell ya how it really went. "AAAAAAAAAAHEM!" He coughed. "Thanks giant floating handkerchief." Said Dracula, as he had just coughed into Leonhard von Stangle's spooky ghost costume. "So there Dracula was, in his castle, trainin', for the big fight." Started Dracula. "Heel toe, heel toe, heel toe." Said Dracula, watching one of those TV aerobics sessions. "Now just continue that for 7 hours straight Ina diet of only brown bananas and you'll be the hunk of your wife's dreams in no time!" Said Mr. Slim Goodbody on TV. "WooooWEE! Dracula's hamstrings are looking nicely toned." Said Dracula, before hearing a knock at the door. "DRACULA WILL BE RIGHT THERE!" Said Dracula, walking towards the door. "Can Dracula help you?" Said Dracula. "Yeah uh we're with the pet hospital down the street-" started Teneshi. "Lemme guess. You're here to slay Dracula?" Said Dracula. "I uh yeah!" Said Teneshi Sr. Who looked way less muscular than depicted earlier. "Well go away, Dracula's watching his programs." Said Dracula, before raising an eyebrow. "Wh- Were you reading Dracula's Mail?" Said Dracula. "Well I- W- You see the-" started Teneshi. "DRACULA ANGRY!" Said Dracula, ripping off his shirt. "D-don't hurt me!" Said Teneshi. "Oh, Dracula's hamstrings gonna be the least of yo problems." Said Dracula, revealing his muscular arms. He then punched Teneshi into the sun, where Soun Emoi impaled him on a sharp piece of tissue paper.

"I don't think that's how it happened either..." Said Teneshi. "WHAT? IS YOU DOUBTIN' DRACULA? DRACULA MAY BE OLD BUT HE CAN PACK A MEAN PUNCH!" Said Dracula. "You the champ, Drac baby!" Said Doc. "I was there." Said Fluzoo. "To put it in short, Teneshi Sr. walked there to slay Dracula, but then got caught reading his mail, so he was fined 25,000 dollars after a brief session in court. "DRACULA'S LAWYERS SHOWED HIM!" Said Dracula, pelvic thrusting to celebrate. "Well maybe if my defense lawyer wasn't Gibby.." Said Teneshi Sr. just as Gibby, who was dressed as a shirtless man, was meddling with Man O War's slime and several condiments to make a neat collage. "DADDY NO!" Said Teneshi, hoping his father wouldn't embarrass him in front of his friends. "DADDY Y E S!" Said Teneshi Sr. as Roundabout by Yes started playing since the story will be continued in the next chapter. "AHA SO THIS IS A JOJO REFERENCE." Said Avery. Eddie then took control of Avery's muscles and made him take out the trash similar to a that of a ragdoll in Garry's Mod.