The feel of cold metal slicing deeply through the tender skin of my wrist is the only thing rushing through my mind as I deeply bleed to let out my emotions, my pain. My mind was centered upon the pool of blood that slowly began to gather around my feet. I was mesmerized by the crimson liquid that shimmered in the light. Once again I brought the blade to my wrist, a new trail of blood trickling its way to the ground. I found safety in this pain. I felt in control of myself. I couldn't feel humiliated anymore. I had ruined my friendship with Harry. I was worth nothing. I slipped in a moment of stupidity I let my real feelings for that curly lad be known. I knew he wouldn't feel the same.
I think of the look of utter shock on Harry's face as the words tumbled from my lips. "Harry Edward Styles, I love you. I have since the moment I saw you admiring your perfect curls in the mirror at boot camp. I always have loved you and I always will. You are my world and please be mine." I all but begged as Harry's look of shock morphed into a look of disbelief. I instantly regretted those words. In those few short seconds I had ruined our friendship. I rushed out of the club to where I am now, watching the blood stream down my arms.
My vision began to grow blurry around the edges and I slowly felt what little energy I had left in my body, leave me as I slipped to the floor into a pool of blood. The last thought that was in my mind was that of those curls that have consumed every second of every day.
I rushed into the flat that both Louis & I owned. "What had happened tonight at the club? Was that really how Louis felt?" I thought as I entered into the house that was filled with silence. My heart pounded as I thought of the confession Louis made. My heart had filled with joy, I felt those same feelings toward the cheeky bloke but he had rushed out before I could say anything. Now I felt as if I may never get to confess how I truly feel.
"Louis! Louis! You bastard answer me right now!" I screamed running into the house. A feeling of dread began to seep into my mind. Without a second thought I rushed to the bathroom and there on the floor, unconscious in a pool of blood laid Louis Tomlinson the boy who always smiled. I looked at his wrists in horror. There, carved in deep bloody lines were the words, "I love you."
I dropped to the ground and wales of sorrow wrecked my body. I grabbed Louis hands and whispered to him, "Don’t you dare die on me Louu. I am getting help. I swear if you leave me I will kill you. Please I love you, hold on. For me."
I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialed 9-1-1 with my hand still gripping Louis'.
"9-1-1, what is your emergency?" the operator asked very calmly. The exact opposite of how I felt. I felt erratic, incomplete, afraid of losing Louis, angry at him for putting me through this but most of all love.
"Please help, my friend he has lost of blood and unconscious. Please help." I practically whimpered into the phone. I was right on the verge of more tears but I stayed strong. Strong for Louis.
"Okay sir please stay calm we will send help as soon as possible"
I continued to hold Louis' hand and began to rock back and forth as the sound of sirens grew closer and closer each passing second. "Hold on Lou they're almost here." I whispered softly into the lad’s ear, gently pressing a kiss to his lips.
