Colours of you

III

"Are you sure you'll be able to do this Sua?"

I am not, I had wanted to say.

"Yes. I am." I said instead.

"No turning back?"

I gulped as a line of sweat ran across the side of my forehead. I rubbed it off.

"No turning back. I promise."

It was more of an assurance to myself than a promise to my mother who was currently hugging me as tightly as she could, afraid of me vanishing into thin air the moment she would let go.

"Mom. Its okay. It's just school for lord's sake." I pulled away from her and took in air greedily.

"I know it is but-" she paused.

I knew what she wanted to say. I could sense it from the way her breathing sounded ragged and her feet shuffled uncomfortably on the concrete floor.

'-but you are no longer normal, Sua. You've become blind. There is no way it does not make a difference.'

I knew she had wanted to say this, but she didn't. Instead she completed by
"-Sua, you're new to this school."

I smiled in return.

"That's what makes it all the better. I can start all over again. New place, new people, new things to learn and- " I tapped my ears " -new ways of studying."

I heard her chuckle lightly. But I knew that deep down, she was worried. Worried sick.

After the loss of my ability to see, it took me a few months to completely adjust to this whole new way of living.

I was always the considered the smartest kid in school and my mother found it quite unnecessary to make me drop out. I very well already learnt reading and writing before the accident. And simply the inability to see did not make it important for me to use the Braille. I wasn't born blind after all. I turned into one.

Middle school was quite smooth for me. Despite being unable to give examinations in a normal way, I did however get promoted. I gave oral examinations, viva and stuff like that and I found no difficulty in understanding all the concepts since I always made mental notes not visual ones.

But just when I had thought, I would carry on in the same way in high school, a much unwanted and unexpected situation stood before me that even though I wanted to, I simply couldn't ignore.

The school I studied in did not conduct viva examinations for high school students.

And I had to transfer.

So that is why as I stood before Seoul High International School -one of the best known educational centres for high school students in the city and probably one of the most expensive schools as well- where my parents decided to put me in despite the many times I had told them they did not need to, where I could be provided with the best education and where I would be able to give examinations as viva, my mom was sweating over the fact of whether I would be able to adjust or not.

I wanted to laugh at how ironical this was. On one hand, they themselves enrolled me into the school without my opinions about it and on the other hand, they were worried about how I'd be able to fit myself into a school filled with the sons and daughters of CEOs of such big companies to which my father's company was partners with.

Our family wasn't very poor. It was just that we had decided to live a rather humble and colourful life than the lavish and plain one that my father's business partners and their families lived in.