Even if the stars don't shine

Memories

  Interestingly enough, Bucky's hair, when short, curled fairly lightly. She cut the sides so it appeared about just a little under an inch, the top was longer, just enough for it to wave and not fall in his eyes. She was scared of his reaction as she used toilet paper to scoop up the smaller hairs that fell on the floor.

  Bucky hadn't seen it yet and she was worried about removing the towel she had stuck over the mirror.

  "You promise not to hate me...?" she asked nervously, her fingers inches above the towel that sealed her fate.

  "I could never hate you..." he looked at her sincerely.

  "We'll see about that," she warned and pulled off the towel.

  He assessed his appearance for a moment before he lightly touched his jaw to feel his stubble. "Do you think I should shave or-"

  Lana hit his arm in exasperation. "Tell me what you think!" she almost whimpered at the end of her sentence. She waited anxiously as he assessed the mirror again although she knew he already made up his mind. "Stop that!" she pleaded.

  He stood up and put his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. "I love it... much cleaner," he leaned down and kissed her forehead, "really, Lana..."

  She smiled in relief and pressed the side of her head against his chest. "I thought I'd ruin you..."

  "Please, that's my job, yours is to pick up the pieces..." he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tighter. "I think Steve will be happy."

  "Really?" she wriggled her way to look up at him, her chin resting comfortably on his chest.

  "Memories of the past I guess, before..." his eyes trailed away until she moved closer and pressed her lips against his quickly, grabbing his attention. He briefly wondered whether he'd ever be able to talk about it.

  "Well, I like it already..." she stood up straighter in his arms and ran her fingers along the shorter hair, having them stop on his jaw, almost checking her finger to see if she had cut herself, "I suppose you were clean shaven back then too?"

  He started to grin at the implication.

                                     **

  Steve wasn't prepared for who came out of that bathroom. Bucky crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly, having some of the confidence from decades before when Steve was still tiny and the world was somehow much less complicated. 

  "Buck..." he murmured as he stood from his seat beside Sam, who was also fairly shocked at the dashing man.

  "Hey pal..." he remembered this, it felt good, like it used to feel after freeing Steve from a bully and taking him away from the scene of the crime to wipe their memories of it. If only he knew how much he'd want to remember each of those moments.

  The memories of Bucky being sent off to war returned to him in waves, his smirk, the way he held his belt buckle when he thought he was big and strong, how he always tried to protect him, especially from going to war. He remembered when he heard the 107th was missing, presumably dead, Sergeant James Barnes, he had said to Colonel Phillips... I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry, was the reply he got. The feeling of his heart dropping out of his body came back to him.

  "Steve?" Bucky asked when a minute had passed and the man said nothing.

  "I- I'm sorry..." he took off toward the front door, closing it behind him.

  Bucky stood motionless for a second then ran off after him without much opposition from anyone.

  Lana put a shaky hand over her mouth, tears threating to come to her eyes. "I- I didn't mean... I just thought short..." she tried to excuse herself as Ellie got up to comfort her, "I- I didn't- I didn't mean..." she allowed her sister to hug her but stared at the door hoping it was all a joke and Steve had planned this with Bucky so she could hit them and get it over with but no such thing happened.